Thursday, October 21, 2004

Smorgasbord: I Loves Me My Halloween

This is an opinion on which people of good faith can differ. So noted. But here's the thing: I LOVE HALLOWEEN!! I just think it's fun. Don't get me wrong. I'm not loving the part where teenagers not in costume come to your door and expect candy. In fact, I'm so against it that last year, by the end of the evening, I had perfected my response to these punk a** teenagers: "[snarky laugh of derisiveness]. No way, dude! You didn't even dress up! No candy for you!" J was concerned that the house would be egged later. Perhaps a valid concern. But no way was I handing out mini Clark bars to some punk who thinks that showing up and saying "trick or treat" in a menacing manner entitles him to some candy. He can kiss it. My Halloween Rule: Candy for the kids. Sarcasm for the teenagers. Works every time.

So this year my dear friend AG is coming down from Detroit City to visit. We are going to a Saturday night party and then taking my niece trick or treating on Sunday. For Saturday we are going to the party as The Bush Twins. She's Barbara. I'm Jenna. I figure it's the easiest d*mn costume ever: streaky blond, long wig, skintight jeans, sorority girl strappy shoes, a slightly inappropriate top, perhaps reminiscent of lingerie or see-through chiffon--and huge fake boobs upon which I will pin my Bush Cheney '04 pin. That's, like, 40 bucks for the whole costume (because I actually already own a couple of kind of inappropriate tops, I'm embarrassed to say)! Ba da bing!! And I get to walk around with a very large set of "hanging chads" (for a change!). Giddy up!

What are your costume ideas for this year? What are your favorites from any year? I'll give you candy if you tell us.

4 comments:

Vigilante said...

Since you asked (and only because of that) Halloween has always been my ralphnadir holiday of the year. For my money, it's the one date that endeavors to bring out the worst in all of us (who participate). And for that reason alone I have sought nonparticipation. [Turn the lights out, turn the sprinklers on, isolate the Doberman in the front hall, and go to the movies]. However I received a very "cordial" inviation this afternoon at work to participate next Friday in a 'team-building' effort to out-dress-out other divisions, as it were. I shunned solicitous suggestions. I know fooking well 'what I should come as', thank you. 1st choice of course will to be Dobie-Wan-Kenobie which will require possession of a light-sabre (fascsimile) and my red Dobie (the real thing)at my side, unleashed. [The vision of my Big Red romping through corporate offices evokes a smile as I type this.] But, failing scoring the rental sabre and a cloak, I could resort to wearing my Sou'Easter Storm [yachting) garb. Failing that, I'll buy a George W. Bush rubber mask. I mean, going cheap, what could be scarier than that (him)?

E said...

And the full-size Clark bar goes to Mr. Vigilante d'Sozadee!

Or you can trade it in for some Skittles....

ps--I LOVE the Dobie Wan Kenobi idea! Witty and yet accessible. LOVE it.

Vigilante said...

Let's see if I can carry it off...?

Miko said...

Jenna will be a great costume. Don't forget the Mike's Hard Lemonade. God is in the details.