Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Haggis Has a New Home

The Haggis has moved to Wordpress!

Please adjust your online habits accordingly.

See you there!

Monday, January 09, 2012

Idiots On Parade

A few opening thoughts on the state of the GOP race to the bottom:

In the year 2012, there is a credible candidate for the United States presidency who is anti-contraception. Think about that for a minute, folks. An actual candidate is in favor of states outlawing contraception. The fact that he is garnering votes perhaps says more about peoples' ability to compartmentalize evidence of outright foolery (since I'm assuming all Of his supporters do not have 5 or 6 kids with more on the way naturally) than it does Santorum's lunatic fringe jackassery.

I'm always mystified how people who believe deeply in the limited role of government are completely fine with government intrusion into female reproductive decisions. How does that make any sense? Ron Paul wants to defund this, dismantle that, who gives a crap if Iran has nukes-not our business. But my vagina? Totally his business. My uterus? On his short short list of things to care about. Yeah yeah, he says it's not the FEDERAL government's issue. Like Santorum, he is going to leave it to the states to prosecute those involved. Once again, jackassery.

But my overall Award for Jackassery Lifetime Achievement goes to the entire Republican primary electorate for rewarding the eminently qualified, electable and (hear me, children of Reagan) NOT INSANE Jon Huntsman with single digit polling numbers. Yes, he is anti-choice, which makes him toxic to me, but to you? You should like him. Reagan would have voted for Huntsman. He would have avoided the hell out of every other clown in the race unless Lee Atwater made him say hello. Reagan, although not my favorite president, understood that politics requires--REQUIRES--compromise. If you have immovable beliefs that preclude you from talking turkey with Ted Kennedy, then go join a fucking church. If you want to move your ball forward while helping your fellow Americans of all political stripes, then run for office and do what you have to do to better the lives of others, recognizing the immortal words of that great statesman Mick Jagger: you can't always get what you want.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Four More Years!

Wilkommen Bienvenue Welcome! (it sounds even better if you say it in the voice of Madeline "Lili Von Shtupp" Kahn).

Welcome to the new but not necessarily improved Star Spangled Haggis 2012. (housekeeping is ongoing, darlings)

Yeah yeah, I know I closed up shop back in the day. Just call me The Who, with my twice-a-decade farewell tours. But this election cycle has just proven too damn entertaining, infuriating and bowel-lurchingly terrifying to sit out. The web needs the progressively moderate voice of The Haggis! George Stephanopoulos and Bill O'Reilly require the profoundly erudite perspective of The Haggis in order to prep for their shows! The POTUS candidates need the laser-like insight of The Haggis in order to track the zeitgeist of the American voter! Oh, yes, friends. The Haggis is good for the web, good for America. Which is why we are back. Oh, and also because the ever-patient BabyDaddy might divorce me if I harangue him one more time about The Evils of Newt Gingrich or the Perils of Ron Paul.

So here we are. I think this is the part where I say God Bless Haggis readers, and God Bless the United States of America!

Monday, April 12, 2010

A New Era

Hi All. As my life has progressed, The Haggis has felt more and more like something from my past. It was such a wonderful outlet for writing, for meeting you, for hearing your comments, and for connecting with so many wonderful people. I thank you for all of your support over the past six years (yes! six years!) and invite you to follow more personal than political events at

Thanks again for all the love and support!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Thanks For Your Time

Friends, the bad news is that blogging has been and will be infrequent.

The good news is that it's because we received our travel authorization for China to bring home Baby Sister. We've had her photo since October, and every day since then has been exquisite torture waiting for the go-ahead. So now that we have it, we have 2 1/2 weeks to get ready for wheels up to China. Woo Hoo!

Which means that I'm using every spare moment to pack, plan and purchase, not to mention prepare Bambina for what lies ahead. She' s very excited to be a big sister in theory, but in practice it is and will be a major adjustment for her. Just last night we received a new pic of Baby Sister. I said, "Wow. We have two beautiful girls in our family!" Her reply? "Um, Mama? I think every family should have one kid who is the cutest, and I feel strongly that it should be me." She then suggested that Baby Sister could perhaps hold the top spot for "smallest" or "slowest." Nice.

Saturday, February 06, 2010


I just read this in the latest issue of The Sun magazine, and it absolutely floored me--as I wait impatiently for my daughter, for my health to improve so I can get off my horrible meds, for the planets to align in whatever way I've convinced myself they must align this day. Enjoy.

Because Even The Word Obstacle Is An Obstacle

Try to love everything that gets in your way;
The Chinese women in flowered bathing caps
murmuring together in Mandarin and doing leg exercises in your lane
while you execute thirty-six furious laps,
one for every item on your to-do list.
The heavy-bellied man who goes thrashing through the water
like a horse with a harpoon stuck in its side and
whose breathless tsunamis rock you from your course.
Teachers all. Learn to be small
and swim past obstacles like a minnow,
without grudges or memory. Dart
toward your goal, sperm to egg. Thinking, Obstacle,
is another obstacle. Try to love the teenage girl
lounging against the ladder, showing off her new tattoo:
Cette vie est la mienne, This life is mine,
in thick blue-black letters on her ivory instep.
Be glad she'll have that to look at the rest of her life, and
keep going. Swim by an uncle
in the lane next to yours who is teaching his nephew
how to hold his breath underwater,
even though kids aren't supposed
to be in the pool at this hour. Someday,
years from now, this boy
who is kicking and flailing in the exact place
you want to touch and turn
may be a young man at a wedding on a boat,
raising his champagne glass in a toast
when a huge wave hits, washing everyone overboard.
He'll come up coughing and spitting like he is now,
but he'll come up like a cork,
alive. So your moment
of impatience must bow in service to the larger story,
because if something is in your way, it is
going your way, the way
of all beings: toward darkness, toward light.

- Allison Luterman

A Few More Photos

Bambina rocking the Irish Step Dancing.

The view while I waited at the airport for Grandma and Big Cousin's arrival

The happiest cousins on the block. Bambina was thrilled to have her cousin pick her up at school and meet her friends.