Saturday, October 23, 2004

Smorgasbord: Gym Etiquette

All this sports-watching has us talking about working out, who is macked out, who looks good, blah blah. It also has us discussing nasty people we encounter at our respective gyms.

We all go to different gyms, so the fact that we all know "this guy" or "this woman" tells me that he and she get around. Tell me if you recognize these people:

1) The person who sits on the locker room leather couch buck nekkid. No towel underneath, no nothin'. Just freeb**ling on the couch as if no one else ever has to sit there.

2) The woman who blow dries and puts on makeup buck nekkid in a crowded vanity area. Like, if you were at home you'd be doing this naked? Please. What is it about having just done 40 minutes on the elliptical that makes us want to show off our stuff to strangers?

3) The guy who uses the gym-provided lotion to moisturize areas that SHOULD NOT HAVE DRY SKIN ISSUES. Note to that dude: if you notice skin flaking, see a doctor; you do not have "combination skin." Trust me.

4) The people who do the hot tub naked. What is this? I'm only a marginal prude, but MUST you deny me the intellectual fiction that there is something (be it even a teeny shred of garment) between you and me in the water? You are the reason I do not use public hot tubs. Again, if you were at your friend's hot tub, you'd put on a swimsuit. Why do you have to get naked with ME when I don't even know you?

Short Story Long: I'm sure you all have others. Share. We must put a stop to this national epidemic of gym boorishness.


Anonymous said...

You and I go to the same gym, clearly. People who can't wait to get naked in public.

Miko said...

Nakedness is at a minimum at my gym -- well, except for the blow-drying lady. She is just everywhere. Instead, I get frustrated by people who would rather they look like they're working out than actually get a workout. The elliptical-trainer people are the worst offenders --not a whisper of perspiration, latest gym fashions, flipping through a magazine, legs ellipticking like crazy, but with the machine set to NO resistance at all. You get on after they've had half an hour and it says "Calories Burned: 67". Who are they doing this for? Why not spend that hour somewhere else, since you're not making use of what the machine is designed to do? I wouldn't care so much if the gym had enough ellipticals that some could be merely cosmetic, you know, for workout-clothing display purposes. But some of us actually want to work out on them!

Anonymous said...

Yeah--who ARE those people? A guy at my gym works out in street shoes with the machine set to Level 1/0 resistance while he reads the paper. Insane.