Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Definition of Chutzpah

Oh Mel Mel Mel Mel Mel.

We hardly knew ye.

Who knew you harbored such deep, dark fears of the world Jewish conspiracy that starts all wars and controls all media? After all, you seem to have done pretty well in spite of it. Poor misguided, troubled, intolerant Mel. If Jews were really pulling all the levers you ascribe to us, you'd be pumping gas somewhere in Brisbane instead of being a gajillionaire actor and director in Hollywood, you self-important and pompous a**.

To be fair, we've all perhaps said things we didn't mean while under the influence. We've perhaps been meaner than we would have been sober, or less diplomatic, or less kind. But drunken remarks tend to pertain to the environment at hand, ie, if one is with a spouse one might bring up hurtful things from the past; if one is with a bunch of friends, one might say something uncharitable that has been on one's mind. What is rarer is when someone is out driving drunk alone and his first comment upon being arrested is a diatribe against another religion. Had you just come from a bar mitzvah? A debate on Lebanon? You say you didn't mean those things, so tell me, Mel, from whence they came. How do you make the leap from "oh sh*t, I've been caught DUI" to "Jews start all the wars"?

That's something soul-deep, Melly Mel, and it is not at all my job or the Jewish community's job to help you heal. Only you can do that. You are nowhere near ready to take real responsibility for your actions, as evidenced by your recent statement. Anyone who can say the following with a straight face needs some more rehab, both for drinking and unmitigated chutzpah: "I'm not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one-on-one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing," Gibson said. He said he has begun "an ongoing program of recovery," but admitted "I cannot do it alone." "I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery," Gibson said.

If you insist on needing my help (since of course you understand that, in the history of world Jewry, there is not now and has never been a monolithic "Jewish community," right? {ever heard the quote 'two Jews, three opinions?'}), then here it is: I'm not sure about Christianity, but in Judaism, forgiveness is asked for and EARNED. So go away. Heal. Stop drinking, if not for yourself then for your kids. Stop making movies. Stop talking. Stop apologizing. Just go and be silent and heal yourself. And by kicking the drinking, you will have shown yourself to be serious about your apology. Until then, worry about yourself and your family. Perhaps focusing your hatred on us is precisely what has hindered your recovery in the past; after all, directing your hatred outward is a textbook method of avoiding the fact that you hate yourself.


Joe Tornatore said...

in reference to the bottle, Gibson may be exemplfying the advice of "put a lid on it."

Anonymous said...

The piece of information missing from your narrative is that the arresting officer was Jewish. He wasn't just out drinking, and upon being stopped, launched into an anti-Semitic tirade. I can't say whether the officer's name badge gave it away or if "Are you Jewish?" is a standard question from Mel when he's being naughty...