As a supplement to this hilarious post on DubiousQuality for those of you who don't necessarily get all lathered up for socccer,
I am proposing that our team--although hangin' in there--is not expected to win or really even be taken seriously by the other teams. My theory on why?
Our coach is a mess.
I give you Mr. Bruce Arena, US coach (who doesn't appear to have played a full 45-minute half in quite some time):
I now give you Sven-Goran Eriksson, England's coach:
And Signore Lippi, Italy's coach:
Clearly, we need a little hotness of the Eminence Grise variety, if you know what I'm sayin'. A little older hotness. Someone with a little silver on top, a little bit of sixpack remnant in the middle, and a lot of fly footwork on the ground.
Bring me that man and I guarantee you a winning World Cup appearance. (Especially if that man is a former coach of England, Italy, Argentina.....)