Sunday, December 16, 2007

Thank God It's No Longer Friday

So my Friday. Once again heinously migraineous. There is no way to adequately describe a migraine, as I've said. So I'll just leave it at this: I only barfed three times this time and it only lasted a full 24 hours. So I've got that going for me, which is nice. I've headed off a few earlier migraines with Maxalt, a new drug they gave me. It works amazingly if you take it early, like in the nanosecond that you are considering that you may perhaps be thinking that you are beginning to suspect that you might be mulling the fantasist notion that you may, in a very unlikely event, be within just moments of having your brain explode in a migraine. If you get within that window, life is sunshine and lollipops. If you miss it, like in this case by waking up with a minor headache already in progress, you might as well take Maalox as Maxalt for all the good it will do you. And yet, hope springs eternal, doesn't it? So Maxalt To the Rescue it was. Only, it wasn't. And it didn't.

What it did do, however, was this:

I sh*t you not. I woke up at 4am, took the Maxalt, tried to go back to sleep. Woke up, barfed, took the Zofran for nausea. Barfed again. Took my pills that I cannot miss no matter what. Managed to keep them down long enough to digest, but barfed up the water I swallowed them with. Got up from the third round of the Emesis Quarterfinals and happened to look in the mirror (old habit from back in the days of having low platelets, where any vomiting would break blood vessels in my eyes). What I saw is precisely the creature you see above. My eyes were teeny tiny little circles underneath a huge quantity of swollen face--for, like, 6 hours.

So now the good news is that I no longer have to worry about that infinitesimal period of time in which to take Maxalt, since I'm clearly allergic to it to the tune of a Star Trek character. I'm no physician, but I say that any drug that turns you into a Romulan or Bajoran (or whatever this guy is--Trekkies you can have at me for my ignorance), it's time to leave that baby on the shelf.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK, I took the bait: that is a Ferengi (and I'm not even sure about the spelling, so have at me as well!).