Friday, October 05, 2007
The Iconic Woman
I wish the people who make TV shows had a shred of decency. Not the no-sex kind, but the respect-for-memories kind. I'm speaking of course about the new Bionic Woman show. I so wanted to like this show; I almost needed to like this show. But this show is terrible in ways too numerous to detail. I will therefore break it all down to three:
1. They effed with the original plot, such as it was, of a beloved childhood show for millions of people. In the pilot alone, we are treated to the "evil" former bionic woman, Jaime's ingrate of a younger sister, the death of her boyfriend, and various histrionics masquerading as acting. The 70's show was a bit camp, it had humor (some of it even intentional), and it made Jaime Sommers seem both approachable and untouchable. This version is needlessly dark, completely hammy (but not in the 70's good way), and devoid of all sense of interest in Jaime. In this version she's pouty, annoying and totally unbelievable in the role.
2. Maybe I've been spoiled by Heroes, but they don't highlight her bionic abilities very much, beyond having her do something heroic with her arm once in a while and having her hearing kick in in a way that annoys her. The lack of real bionic fun is due partly to the plot saying she is unwilling to use her bionic powers; to her constant annoyance at having this new power. The power of the original was in Jaime's interest in beating the bad guys. In this one, we are stuck watching her have a mini-epiphany about helping people over a copy of What Color Is Your Parachute and a conversation with Isaiah Washington. Annoyance plus faux epiphany. Need I say more?
3. Three Words: No Oscar Goldman. Yeah, they've got Miguel Ferrer in some pseudo-Oscar role. But no Oscar himself. Which should have, in and of itself, halted this misguided remake in its tracks.