Thursday, October 18, 2007

Celebrity Rap Superstar in the Hizzy

Yeah. I watched it.

For those of you with normal TV viewing habits, CRS featured "celebrities" attempting to become, well, rap superstars. There were huge stars on board like the guy who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite and Jason Wahler of the absolutely dire MTV show The Hills. But did I continue to watch it? You bet your beatdown. I guess I just have a grudging respect for the talentless among us who aspire to the heights of superluminaries like Tone Loc and Bubba Sparxx....

Anyway, I ended up really enjoying this show, as ashamed as I am to admit it. Perez Hilton brought a really fun vibe to it, even with the historically homophobic Tone Loc as his coach; and Sebastian Bach, late of hair band Skid Row, would show up and blow up every single week. It was a stupid, nonsensical good time for 80's kids like me. In the end, Shar Jackson (the former Mrs. Kevin Federline) won and she deserved it.

Okay, I'm just gonna stop myself right here and wonder how my life got to the point where I am actually up at 11-something PM giving mad props to effing Sebastian Bach for his bangin' rap skills and discussing Shar Jackson as if she's Rudy Giuliani. That's almost as unbelievable as the fact that Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson made it all the way to the final two. Or, perhaps not that unbelievable seeing as she brings all the T and A viewers can handle. Which is another reason I actually enjoyed the show: I realized how much I've grown up in recent years. As I was remarking to the BBDD on the large-breasted half-naked woman with a grand total of ZERO rap skills just about winning the whole contest devoted to rap skills, it occurred to me that it was not many years ago that I'd have been OUTRAGED to the point of fomenting a letter-writing campaign at both the objectification of (even willing) women and the injustice that larger sister Countess Vaughn was not the winner. I'd have ginned up a boycott in my own mind of the channel, its sponsors and executed a Stalin-like purge of all sponsor products from my pantry. I would then have harangued my male friends about why they'd vote for a person with NO SKILLS just because she has huge breasts and fake hair extensions. Um...Duh, E? Luckily I've stopped trying to understand the average male's mind and just accepted that sometimes Naked Ladies Trump All.

So as fun and silly and not serious as the show was, it was tremendously fun to just enjoy something stupid while remembering a time in my life when my list of Serious Things That Must Never Be Found Funny At Any Time By Any One was as long as the chorus to Naughty By Nature's O.P.P.

And if this post was meaningless to you, don't fret. You're just not this show's demographic. Which clearly I am. ;)


Anonymous said...

You are a sick, sick woman. Which I like!

Vigilante said...

"Naked Ladies Trump All"?

I'm not sure. Maybe it would be 'near naked ladies'. Maybe just the partial Monty. . .