Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Ten Things You Didn't Know About Me

I saw this on another blog and thought it would be fun. Be sure to reciprocate. I tell you mine, you tell me yours. ;)

10) I can speak and read Arabic. At the first grade level.
منزلي. Bayti. My house.
أسود Aswad. Black.
بِسْمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
Bismalah ar-rahman ar-rahim al hamdu lillahi rabb il alamin ar-rahman ar-rahim Maliki yowm ad-Deen. First four lines of the Surat al-fatiha, the opening of the Koran.

That's about all I got for ya.

9) I love country music. Especially old school: George Jones, Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn. It reminds me of Scottish country music; fiddles, whoops and hollers, etc. Although, we don't have many jukeboxes in Scotland...

8) I would have promiscuous sex with Ewan McGregor if he asked nicely. I wouldn't even require dinner and a show.

7) I have a theme tune. 1990's one hit wonder "Ya Gotta Be" by Des'ree. "Ya gotta be bad, ya gotta be bold, ya gotta be wiser, ya gotta be hard, ya gotta be tough, ya gotta be stronger, ya gotta be cool, ya gotta be calm, ya gotta stay together. All I know, all I know is love will save the day..."

6) I never found John Kennedy, Jr. attractive. I know: apostasy in the USA. But he just never did it for me.

5) I secretly wish I was Annie Lennox.

4) I always cry when I hear the Leonard Cohen song "Hallelujah." As well as the Jeff Buckley cover.


3) I always feel fat. I was a fat kid, and if you were one too you know that the fat kid never leaves you, even when the fat itself does. Every time I look in the mirror I see a fat 6th grade girl, and I have to talk myself down from it. Every every every day.

2) I once kissed my best friend's boyfriend just because I could. And even though it was high school and high schoolers do that sort of thing and she and I haven't talked in years and she's married to someone else with kids and she never found out that her boyfriend was all over me at a party and I (see "always feeling fat even though I am thin" reference above) couldn't believe such a cute guy liked me since really cute guys always liked her more than me, I still feel like the biggest a**hole in the universe for having done it. Being 16 was no excuse. My mama raised me better than that.

1) During my freshman year of college, I had a three-hour makeout session with a guy at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland whose name I now cannot recall. I know! My "skank ho" factor just went up about three notches, didn't it?! Rupert? Rudyard? Reginald? I want to say it was one of those English-y R names. But not "roger." THAT I make a point of remembering the names. (Look up "roger" in the UK if you don't get that last comment). My defense is that I had just won a bottle of Moet champagne at my dorm Christmas party and I contend that my unsolicited kiss of the rather dashing English R Chap was less a skank ho moment and more a Robert Doisneau-sailor-kissing-the-nurse-on-D-Day moment. Only, the moment lasted about 180 moments...

So there you go. Your turn. Even if you can only churn out 5.


Raine said...

10) I played piano, and can read music in terms almost like a language.

9) I have deadly aim with firearms of any kind. I have what my parent's call "grandpa's eye." My great grandpa was a hunter marksman, and I seem to have inherited the keen eye.

8) I can't say I would have promiscuous sex with someone based on their appearance alone.

7) I can sing.

6) My first word was a sentence. My parents don't recall what it was, but they do recall that it was three, maybe four words long.

5) The stories I write are often like real life. Even happy endings are just the beginning of a greater tragedy.

4) I tackled my friend Jen for my birthday and spent most of the night macking on her. Even though we had agreed two weeks prior that we were just friends. I'm terrible for trying twice. I'm 0 for 2 right now.

3) I was an ugly kid. I had a rediculous big nose, and ears too big for my head. A difference in growthrate between the back of my skull and my front made for a very... interesting head shape that didn't even out until junior high when everything started growing at the same pace. That, and my arms and legs grew before anything else, which gave me the appearance of some kind of hairless gorilla.

2) The aforementioned tragic appearance made me a popular target for bullies in early school years. ie. In my early school years, everyone was a bully at some point, which has attributed to my deep hatred for children now. Yes, I hate kids. I see them, and I still see the rotten little bastards that I grew up with. It's even worse knowing that the level of parental incompetence has only increased since I went to elementary school.

1) My longest story is 600 words, handwritten. It's not complete yet.

runner said...

You don't get to know me that easily, E! But I give you credit for the effort. A-plus.

Joe Tornatore said...

brandi carlisle does a great cover to the Cohen tune.

westcoast said...

1) I love The Haggis
2) The Haggis looks a lot like Deborah Harry these days
3) I start my day with coffee, toast, and Haggis
4)The Haggis must write a book so she can get on Oprah
5) The Haggis must write a book because I am tired of sending links to all my friends whenever you write a hilarious rant with blue language. They just need to buy their own copy.

Five is all I've got, I'm afraid.

Anonymous said...

I can totally see you and your smoky voice as Annie Lennox. That shouldn't be a secret wish!