I just spent the day with my mom, whom I love and adore and all that stuff. Seriously. She's awesome. I just realized today, however, after 33 years, that my mom reads aloud almost every sign she sees while out and about.
Driving to IKEA on the beltway: "'Exit 25: Laurel and College Park.' Interesting." In IKEA: "Votive candles, $1.29; Item can be found in aisle 25, row 17; Exit this way..."
In the Parking Garage: "You are parked on Beauregard Level One."
In the store: "Sale. Everything 40% off."
Constant, out-loud sign reading. Not relevant sign reading; just out-loud ANY sign reading.
How did I miss noticing this all these years? And how did it make me so crazy after only one day? Bless her heart, by the end of the day I was ready to scream, "I KNOW that McDonalds has Billions and Billions Served! Okay?!! Okay?!! For the love of God, stop telling me! I know Wendy's makes old-fashioned hamburgers! I know! And I DEFINITELY already know that Visa Is Everywhere I Want to Be."
So to mitigate my annoyance (which my dad refers to as my periodic habit of "being rather hard on a very well-meaning individual"), I decided that maybe I wasn't being entertaining enough for my mom. Like, maybe she's reading "Rest Area, 2 miles, Left Lane Only" because I am boring the bejesus out of her. So I started talkingtalkingtalkingtalking about...whatever. How VISA is indeed everywhere I want to be, how I remember back when McDonalds only served 35 million people, how maybe we should have our special mother-daughter brunch in the IKEA cafeteria..."
"Och, E, don't talk such rubbish!"
Yeah, Mom. I'll keep that in mind... ;)