Thursday, December 08, 2005

Scott McClellan: King of the Dipsh*ts

I know I'm not expressing an original thought when I state how unimpressive is the White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. I used to cringe at Dee Dee Myers, but dang if Scott hasn't stolen the crown of mediocrity right off her head.

Wow. His demeanor and delivery are reminiscent of Conan O'Brien during his first season back in 1993. A big pile of nervousness, tentative manner of speaking, a tendency toward cottonmouth, and a seeming discomfort with public performance. All of which lead to the inevitable question of why this person was chosen for this gig--a gig and milieu so seemingly ill-suited to its owner's abilities.

To be fair, Conan did get funnier and more comfortable as the seasons progressed. And also to be fair, Mr. McClellan's press interrogators ain't such sharp pencils either. Their delivery and demeanor take me back to college lectures where That One Kid would, upon the professor's statement that "we have only 4 minutes left in class; does anyone have any questions?" immediately raise their hand in Full Horshack 'Ooo ooo oooh!" mode and proceed not with a question but with a statement of their own insipid beliefs that took the class long past its ending time. You know that kid. Some of you WERE that kid. Damn you.

So all I was thinking as I was watching today's press briefing on C-SPAN was "this is a room full of people I'd rather eat glass than hang out with in real life. How is it that they are running the country, writing about those who run the country, and how is it that I am watching them with interest?"

Either they are huge morons...or I am.

3 comments:

Vigilante said...

I might cop to being that 4-minute kid, E.

But before you smack me down, I have to add you'll never catch me watching a McClellan performance as long as I can find a weather channel.

E said...

You sound eerily like my dad, Vigilante! Why watch anything else as long as you can see the jet stream just south of Brownsville, TX, right? ;)

ps--I'm sure your 4-minute questions were intelligent, so I'm giving you a pass. :)

Raine said...

It's perhaps the bottom of the barrel for a journalist to be assigned to dealing with White House PR flaks.

All the good ones are travelling the world, schmoozing with dictators, and pounding ground in remote locations.

Either that, or they realize what kind of career awaits them, and drop their pens to take meteorology so they can become weathermen on the Weather Channel.