Saturday, December 10, 2005

Coalition Provisional Authority Phrasebook

From an old (March 2004) issue of The New Yorker, in which Paul Bremer stated, "I am taking Arabic lessons every day," but stated that he found the language "very difficult." To assist him, Andy Borowitz offered the following statements, among others, on one side of the column with the Arabic translation on the other:

"Until the power's back on, anybody for charades?"

"The next train to Basra will depart in 2009."

"There is no soap in my hotel room; also, no walls and no ceiling."

"Could you please direct me to the weapons of mass destruction?"

"Believe me, I, too, want my fat ass out of here."

"I'd like my eggs fried, not thrown at my car."

"Excuse me, has anyone here heard of Ahmad Chalabi?"

"I tried to establish democracy in the Middle East and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

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