Sunday, December 04, 2005

Do Not Remove These Magazines

It's a sign we see frequently at doctor and dentist's offices, or even at the Jiffy Lube: "Do Not Remove Magazines from this Waiting Room."

Someone at NIH took that command waaaay seriously. I was doing another of my all-day gigs there and picked up una revista called "American Woman." I was a little surprised to see Annie Potts on the cover, but I figured there was probably some Hallmark Hall of Fame Christmas movie either on Lifetime or CBS that she was promoting. Then I started reading all about "How to tell if he is cheating on you" and it was offering advice like "hire a P.I., check his receipts, does he have matchbooks in his drawer?, etc." I was thinking, "man, this is a CRAP magazine! What about googling his nicknames (s*x site personas aren't entirely confidential, dahlings)? What about calling his cell to see if it is turned off in the early evenings? What about asking his assistant to check his microsoft outlook calendar to 'just confirm' that he's at lunch with....right!...that's her name!"

A bit befuddled I continued reading, to the "Beauty Secrets of the Stars" article featuring Susan Sarandon, Ellen Barkin and Kim Basinger. Whaaaaaat?! Then I looked at the fine print on the cover: May 1993.

I kid you not.

May 1993.

I don't know about you, but I can't find my tax returns from 2003 much less have held onto a magazine from 1993! I am so intrigued to find out how it got there, who brought it, and--furthermore--why they thought it would be enjoyable reading.

Oh wait. It was!

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