Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Telly: The Three American Idols Christmas Special

Dear God! My eyes and ears are bleeding!!!

This "very special American Idol" episode is called "Kelly, Ruben and Fantasia: Home for the Holidays." Did I mention that it is dire? Unwatchable. Unbearable. And absolutely sure to be a hit.

I feel the worst for Kelly Clarkson who, three years later, must simply be desperate for her association with the whole Idol franchise to end. But the rest of it is painful. The entire concept is painful. It reminds me of some crack-addicted version of The Mandrell Sisters' Variety Show from the early 80's. Surely you remember the Mandrell Sisters? Barbara, Irlene and Louise? Where they'd do ghastly skits and sing songs like "Drift Away" (Gimme the beat, boy and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll...?) and "Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue?" Yeah, you know the kind of show I'm talkin' about. It's the kind of show that shouldn't be aired. Shouldn't be watched.

Oh man! Okay, Kelly Clarkson is now singing a Christmas Song called "Oh Jesus What A Wonderful Child." It is Kathie Lee Gifford's wet dream of a Christmas special.

Serves me right for flipping channels during West Wing...

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