Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Telly: Great TV Quotes

#1 through 4 in a continuing series:

1) "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have...oh hell, pour me a drink."
--Charles Emerson Winchester III, M*A*S*H

2) GLORIA: Sixty-five percent of the people murdered in the last ten years were killed by handguns.
ARCHIE: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?
--All In The Family

3) WOODY: Jack Frost nipping at your toes, Mr. Peterson?
NORM: Yeah, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.

4) NILES: I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, nonfat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing but not to leave me with a moustache.

Any others you want to share?


Miko said...

After Jerry Seinfeld's apartment was burglarized:

POLICE OFFICER: [closes notepad] OK,. We'll call you if we find anything.
JERRY: Do you ever find anything?

Anonymous said...

Jerry(after a newspaper report says he's gay): "I can't believe this! I've been outed! I wasn't even in!"
From Seinfeld

Anonymous said...

Gilmore Girls:

Christian exchange student staying with Lane's Bible-thumping Mom, to Lane at the diner: "What are those"
Lane: "Fries."
Student: "I can't have those. Your mom says that they are the Devil's starchy fingers."
Lane: "They are good. Try them."
Student: "Aren't they a gateway food?"
* * *
Lane: "Welcome to America."

Or something like that. It was brilliant.