Wednesday, February 14, 2007

A Haggis Smackdown for Heroes

It's well-documented in these here pages that I love the NBC show "Heroes." I Heart Heroes. Big time.

That said, I am about to have to boycott it if they keep having Clare Bennett talk about her "real father" and "real mother." It raises my hackles every time she says it. Last night she and her (evil? misguided?) adoptive father had an exchange in which she said, "You're not my real father," and he responded, "No I'm not, but I'm the closest thing you've got."


If my adolescent ever says that to me, she will be reminded that Oh Yes I Am. Hear me now and believe me later, punk ass.

But enough about me. (What?!) I am so effing irritated at this dialogue because it doesn't have to be this way. They could still make the point that she is searching, she knows something is not kosher with her adoptive father's motives with the heroes, etc, without having it be all about her "real" parents. At the very least they could have at least one other character refer to them as "birth mother" and "birth father" even obliquely to make the point. But as it is, everyone on the show mirrors her language as well.

It's just so not necessary, and changing the word "real" to "birth" would not change the arc of the story, would not change the vibe of the story, would not change her emotions in the search for her birthparents. It would simply be one less way in which the outdated and offensive term "real" parents is used in common parlance.

How about it, Heroes? "Improve the cheerleader's dialogue, improve the world."

ps--My next mission: Getting British news outlets to stop using the term "natural" father or mother. What? Am I Bambina's Unnatural Mother? Synthetic Mother? Artificial Mother? Her Not-100% Certified Organic, BGH-Free, 70% Post-Consumer Content Mother?
F&*^ers. Stay tuned for a future post where I get all "unnatural" on Britannia. Right now, I'm too busy hammering Heroes. ;)

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