Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Day 92 Is Close Enough; or Heaven and Hell in 24 Hours

Awwwww Yeeeaaaaahhhh! That was me just a couple of hours ago after mine and the BBDD’s Drive-By Pizza Slice Joy Ride. Sweet Sufferin’ Sally, it was awesome. That drive-by past McDonalds for fries came as a result of one targeted pizza place not having any slices (whaaaaa??!) (and as a mini-photographic shoutout to my girl J and her peeps down in MD).

So how did this fast food bender happen?

The Good Doctor gave the greenlight today for eating fresh fruits and veggies and takeout food again. Essentially, he lifted most of my food restrictions. Still can't have deli, sushi, booze, unpasteurized cheese, salad bars, or any fruits and veggies outside the home. Reason being that deli meats are sitting around (albeit in those cases) and who knows how many people are reaching in and touching them (they also might be put on one of those cutter machines that previously cut something I can't eat). Sushi and booze need no explanation. His explanations for the rest are very entertaining, if frightening. Unpasteurized cheese: two patients almost died from contracting meningitis as a result of listeria. He said it's ludicrous to survive a bone marrow transplant, avoid all the nasty fallout from GVHD, and then die...from eating cheese. No argument here. Salad bars he said should just be outlawed for everyone. There is no way to keep the food in a salad bar at the right temperature. The food at the top is always warmer than the stuff near the ice in the bottom, especially in those deep containers they sink into that ice table. Not to mention all the people ducking under the useless sneeze guards to get that last tongful of grated cheddar cheese. Not to mention the tongs themselves that always end up lying in the food... Nuff said. Fruits and veggies outside the home, same as the deli. Did they wash the lettuce enough? Did the person wash his hands before putting the lettuce on my sandwich? The basic rule is that wherever you can’t control multiple variables, don’t eat it.

So I immediately went home and ate a nectarine and some raisins. And then saved my appetite for the real food later. I'm sitting here wondering when the acid reflux will kick in, but enjoying it nonetheless. Which is good, because I have a bone marrow biopsy tomorrow at 8am. Yeah, you read that right. ANOTHER bone marrow biopsy. Nice. I've decided to participate in a study testing a drug that they think will help prevent GVHD. I'm doing it so I never have to wonder, if I do get GVHD, whether I could have prevented it. And also to advance medical science blah blah blah. The price for participating in the study? The biopsy "to get a baseline." Kill me now.

The study starts on my Day 100. The meaning of which was characteristically succinctly broken down for me today by my doctor (who I am now ready to officially announce is the latest recipient of my Non-Sexual Crush honors). I was sick last week, feeling so unbearably unwell for about two days with a nice, quick recovery. I asked him about it today in my usual Pollyanna way, whether maybe my immune system fought it off and maybe I'm now building my own immunity to diseases? He looked at me, gave a small laugh, and said: "No, no, no. You have one of the worst immune systems I've ever seen. It's terrible. And don't let anyone tell you any different."

Oh my lord, I am in love with this man! (Thank you sir! May I have another?!) He reminded me that getting to eat food is not the same as having an actual immune system. All the pills I've been taking are immunosuppressives. He said "you don't have the ability to build any immunity to anything right now. So no, you didn't fight anything off, you won't be able to for many months, and you aren't 'building' anything from any infections you get. The goal is to have you not get them for specifically that reason: they are extremely life-threatening." Oh. My bad.

Anyway, it's really all good, even with the ongoing lack of immunity. But that just might be the cholesterol endorphins talking. They kicked in immediately upon first bite, and I was in cheesy drunken heaven. As we were leaving pizza place #2 I said dreamily to the BBDD, "Even if I go tits up two months from now from some ridiculously stupid virus, I just want you to know that this is the most fun I've had in months." His response? He looked at me like he was about to pat me on the head and said, "Aww. That is so sad!"

I'm in good hands all the way around.


Joe Tornatore said...

love fast food benders.

Geoff said...

Just keep up with the french fries, pizza, and incremental pushups and you'll probably run into me as you rise and I descend on the scale of overall healthiness.

Good to hear you can enjoy nectarines too. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I couldn't enjoy fresh fruit.

NM in MN said...

For the love of all things Holy- why did not not immediately head to Dunkies? Being away from their decadent delights for more years then I wish to contemplate, that would be my first trip.

Maybe in the next week you can have a Boston creme, or toasted coconut, or ...hell, any of their confectionery wonders.

Glad to hear you are back on take out. Time to buy some McD stock...

Anonymous said...

Keep eating. You look thin, sister. May I suggest krispy kremes?

JPjr said...

Thanks Fer the grub
Yeah Lord!

Anonymous said...

Just curious - totally NOT trying to be a buzzkill:
Why is it ok to have fries from unknown germy teenagers now? (if you have "among the worst immune systems" your doc has seen) Immunology is fascinating...

Glad to hear of your ability to binge like the rest of us!

E said...

Hi Anonymous!
Great question!
The fries are cooked, is the simple answer. I still most likely won't eat the meat and I wouldn't be able to have the lettuce or the tomato on the burger. But cooked-beyond-recognition potatoes are A-OK. But you are right--no guarantees. But the odds of getting something foodborne from fries is exceedingly low, unlike deli or restaurant salads.

Anonymous said...

I agree.You need to eat more!

Peter G said...

Honestly, if you are going to die from something you eat, it really should be cheese.