Let's consider this Chapter One in my new book, "How the 'Burbs are Not Like the City."
I'm sitting on the porch right now and I'm about 10 feet away from a large mob of turkeys. I kid you not. Turkeys. Not the human kind, the birds. The poultry. Los pavos. It's a good thing Bambina is out at a playdate because the big one jumped up on the fence so close to me and so loudly (and in a manner that caused all the other birds in the yard to am-scray SAP-Ay), that I actually said, "Holy Sh*t!" at a discernible volume. Or more accurately, I didn't "say" it and I didn't yell it really, which I suppose means that I "exclaimed" it, not having previously been near a turkey in my life that wasn't already basted. (No calls please, PETA)
My thoughts? Turkeys are f'ing scary, yo. That Mama Turkey, I've just noticed, has a group of little turkeys with her. Which might explain her rather aggressive nature. She is big and she is not to be messed with. I would no sooner approach her in this suburban garden than I would a rottweiler in a junkyard. I could get shivved.
Hmmm...maybe this is not so different from the city after all.