Y'all. I've been trying to post all day, trying to change my template for a month, trying to spend the few Bambina-free minutes I have on a daily basis putting something up here that is halfway okay to read. No help from Blogger.
So I haven't done the following things as a result:
Told you to visit HaggisAndGrits for some interesting reading. Including the latest post regarding elephant overpopulation, and which has video of said "treatment" of said elephant.
Linked to AngryAsianMan, an everyday must read.
Bellyached about some new books I bought for Bambina. I've had great luck with those little "first reader" books made by DK Reader, which I think is a European company. I unfortunately just purchased some Harper Collins ones which are dreadful. They were only 5 bucks a pop, but I'm out some money and some patience. One is about a boy who doesn't like dogs until a dog befriends him in the park and he realizes he does like dogs. Cute, no? Consider some of the dialogue: Upon telling the dog to "go home" and the dog somehow communicates that he can't, the little boy says, "Can I help it if you don't have a home? Too bad. You can't come home with me." Lots more general meanness in the book, if "only" to a dog. Another book is The Fat Cat Sat On The Mat. Not to be confused with "Fat Cat on a Mat" which was one of the spectacular DK books, and the one I thought I was buying. Not to sound like a hippie, but we don't use the word "hate" around Bambina. The entire book is all about how the bat and the rat hate the cat who has sat on the mat. And how the witch they live with calls the rat her "little brat." This for 3-5 year olds! You know that I am the least staid person on the planet, but why would I want to read my child a bunch of smart-mouthed, mean and lowbrow dialogue masquerading as phonics? I'm not talking about subjects like farts or poops. We're all okay with that. But none of her books about farts or poops or nostrils encourage rudely precocious punk-ass behavior and language. None of them throw the word "hate" around in reference to other beings as if it's no big deal. I think it was my Mom who said, "The only thing we hate is hate," when I'd say that I hated my teacher or my friend Gina's boyfriend. Whoever said it, they were right. And may I live long enough that my child can look back on her life and thank me for never using the word "brat" or teaching her the notion of "I hate dogs." A Check-Minus for Harper Collins.
Linked to AverageJane where the following meme is provided and which you should answer in the comments section. My answers:
Four jobs I've had in my life (I've listed the four worst):
* Christmas help at a Petite Sophisticate
* Ride operator at a regionally-famous amusement park for four summers. Maybe 5?
* Waitress/ice cream girl at Friendly's Restaurant. Where the manager required a blow job in order to honor your day off request. As I've said before, I worked every damn day I was on the schedule.
* Cafeteria shift leader at my college. Nothing like serving institutional food to wealthier and sometimes unpleasantly rude classmates to motivate you...
Four places I have lived:
* Tiny village in Scotland you won't see on a map
* Modest family home in a "transitional" neighborhood
* An apartment in Georgia, upstairs from a very difficult woman in the insect-study program at the local university. She'd call the landlord if I ran the dishwasher after 6pm. I'm not kidding. One of the very few public altercations in my life, when I observed appropriate communal laundry etiquette by removing her dry things from the drier and placing them on top without looking at anything in detail. She came in as I was loading my stuff and started freaking out, as if I was sniffing her panties or something. So I just unloaded in a brusquely civil manner, "I'm not sure what your problem is; you've been rude since we moved in here, and we've been nothing but polite and friendly to you. If you have a problem with us, you need to elaborate on it right now." Huffy response, no resolution.
* Apartment with former classmate. He kept all his "female erotic writers" books all over the joint, as if he was really interested in reading about 40-something women finding their G spots on a safari trip with their friends. Puh-leeze. Men who own those books are strictly "pleasure reading" if you know what I'm saying...And what I heard.
Four of my favorite foods:
* French fries
* Properly-cooked hash browns (ie, NOT "home fries." Must be crispy and shredded, not square and boiled with brown "fried" spots.)
* Greek pizza
* Chicken Tikka Masala with naan
Four places I'd rather be right now:
* Half Moon Bay
* NYC Chinatown
* Anywhere in Scotland
* At a PTA meeting for Bambina's new preschool, heading up a committee or two. Actually anywhere inside her preschool just so I could see where she'll be for the next 9 months...
And a bonus 5th place: on a computer with a blogging system that actually works.