Courtesy of our Special Correspondent, NM, at our Midwest bureau I give you perhaps the greatest and most important invention since meat on a stick:
Which reminds me of one of the best lines from a TV show ever. On Married With Children (a show I never watched, btw), the wife asks her husband, "Al? Do these pants make me look fat?" He answers, "Peg. It's not the pants that make you look fat. It's the FAT that makes you look fat."