Monday, October 10, 2005

Matt Damon Does DC

Today's morning post-park walk with The Bambina (to go to Firehook Bakery for one of their disgustingly fattening Halloween cupcakes for said Bambina) took us down 5th Street, which had been transformed into DC of many decades ago. Packards and Oldsmobiles and all those old cars my dad loves were parked along the streets. Young children dressed in uniforms with "moms" dressed in gloves and little hats stood on the sidewalks. An old DC streetcar came down the street ahead and stopped.

We walked as far as we could down the street until random people with backpacks and walkie-talkies held us up for a few minutes while they began filming. As we moved along after the "cut!" we saw a bunch of men outside the streetcar, dressed in those cool old suits with the cool hats you see in all those newsreels from the Civil Rights era. (I realize I am showing my youthful ignorance by not being able to even remotely identify the decade in which the scene was shot. I'm thinking early 50s. But could be the late 40s. Although, hell, it could be the early 60's. I have no idea. There were no African Americans on the streetcar, so I'm thinking pre-60's).

Anyway, turns out the movie is The Good Shepherd, starring Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie, directed by DeNiro. All about some guy in the early days of the CIA. Now, I've never been totally googly about Hollywood stars on the theory that it makes me feel like a total loser to be so into a person I don't even know. Like, the particular star could be a complete jerk, hate his mother, kick dogs, but gee he was so cute in American Pie that I just have to swoon over him. Ick. As if there aren't enough cute people in real life to swoon over, I have to get all hot and bothered for a movie star? Please. It makes me feel like I have no life of my own to be so into the life details of someone who does not--and does not care to--know me. (Jon Stewart and Ewan McGregor are the exceptions since I am certain both would indeed LOVE to know me. hee hee). The issue about Matt Damon in particular is that he is the dead ringer for my a-hole boyfriend back in high school, so I have never really been able to fully enjoy anything he does--as talented as he is--because I just keep feeling like I'm watching my ex in a movie. So, as you can imagine I reacted to this movie shoot with total boredom; bona fide ennui, in fact. Right?


I all of a sudden had to get my child's photo taken on this movie set so--don't ask me why it matters even one bit--she can look back and say, "Hey--there I am on the set of a movie that was a medium-sized hit back in the 00's. Yeah, my mom took it. It starred some guy--Johnny Damon?--and had some woman in it who was supposedly famous. Lana Turner maybe? I don't know. Whatever." But for some reason, I was pushing people out of the way so I could get a photo of my toddler in her stroller in front of Matt Damon's back. Yeah--not even a photo with Matt Damon. No. A photo with Matt Damon in the background. The Bambina was none too pleased at the delay: "Um, I was told there would be cupcakes with buttercream icing?! Have the plans changed, Mrs. Culkin?" So I had to make it quick, hence The Dorsal Damon shot.

As with all things we do on a whim for "no reason," I felt a little bit dirty as I walked away. A little like I had just publicly revealed my latent loserness (and stage mother propensity) in front of not only my neighbors but Matt "D*mn My Ex-Boyfriend" Damon. A little like I had just stolen the soul of The Talented Mr. Damon for my own nefarious ends. A little like I had just embarrassed my daughter for something I thought was cool, a la, "Hi Mr. Bon Jovi, my toddler here really wanted to meet you so I hope you don't mind the interruption..."

So I've decided to make the best of my newly-discovered loserness. It's going to be a Kramer-style coffee table book in the same vein of those Traveling Garden Gnomes photos. The book will feature hundreds of photos of famous celebrities with The Bambina. However, it will feature only their backs. With a hungry, sulking Bambina in the foreground.

I am dedicating it right now to Mr. Matt Damon: The Bambina's first brush with the back of fame.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think we are all latent stage mothers at heart.

How does Matt look in person, btw?