Tuesday, April 03, 2007

And Now For Something Completely Different



Get Mortified


This is the link to GetMortified.com, an absolutely hilarious show wherein average people read or perform their adolescent writings in front of total strangers. It's tagline is "Share the Shame!" I can think of about three friends off the top of my head who should audition for this show. You All Know Who You Are. ;)

When I am successfully on the other side of this whole bone marrow drama I am totally auditioning on the strength of this diary entry alone:

July 28th, 1985
Sue G had a pool party yesterday. It was wicked awesome. Then I went and got a new pair of pink pants that are baggy at the top and tight at the bottom. They look so awesome. Then ** gave me this cute little unicorn with his high school ring between the paws (hoofs? hooves?). I'm not telling mom coz she'll make me give it back to him. She's done that before! Did I ever tell you about that? Well, ** gave me his HS ring about a month ago and I showed mom it and she marched me back upstairs in ## and made me hand it back to him with her watching. I honestly can say that for that moment in time I HATED her. Oh my god I was so wicked embarrassed. ** invited me to his junior prom but I don't know if Dad will let me go, or if I can even afford a $200 gown, but I hope he does because it is TLF.* I love him so much and he is so cute. When he was going on his trip he put "Haggis" in capitals on his list of things he wanted to pack and take with him. Everyone thought that was so cute except for my Dad who of course thinks that all boys are sex maniacs and told him to erase my name off his packing list. Oh my god like why do they have to make me look like such a loser all the time with the boy I love forever? At least we'll have this in the future--

Mr. and Mrs. Haggis's Parents
cordially invite you to attend
the marriage of their daughter
SS Haggis
to
**
son of ** parents

RSVP because we are in TLF!


I'm cringeing as I type it, which is precisely why it's potential GetMortified material. I'm saving the diary entries about the time the kid in 7th grade pulled my tampon out of my purse and started handing it around the room and the time when my aunt came to my honor society induction when my parents were out of town and proceeded to fall down twice, both times splaying her legs up in the air and showing her (thankfully covered) ladyparts to all of my friends and their parents; and their parents were all "oh my goodness is your mom okay?" and I was shrieking, "She's not my mother! She's my aunt! I swear!" I can feel the cloud of humiliation approaching as I write...

*ps--TLF means True Love Forever.

I know. Gag.

1 comment:

Raine said...

Haha. I've got something like this.

It's called a blog. When it comes time, I don't know whether I want to delete it or publish it.

Lordy.