Saturday, February 05, 2005

Yeast Makes Their $Dough$ Rise

I was clipping coupons the other day and came upon one that, quite frankly, made me laugh out loud. It was "Save $5 on Three" packages of Monistat Yeast Infection Treatment.

Wow. How unlucky does that company hope I get?! For the love of pete, are they really hoping that a woman will need THREE yeast infection treatments before all three boxes are past their effective date?! Is this really the type of bargain women are looking for?! What would I do with THREE boxes of Monistat? Hang out in hotel hot tubs for long periods of time? Refuse to take off my wet swimsuit for hours on end? Go on an antibiotic bacterial flora-killing bender? All just to make good use of my low-cost THREE boxes of Monistat?!!

Or--maybe they're hoping I'll share the wealth? Call my female friends up and say, "Do you have that not so fresh feeling? If so, I have an extra box of yeast infection treatment. I'll bring it right over! Don't worry about paying me; I saved $5 on 3. It's my treat!"

Or--maybe they are intended as stocking stuffers for the holidays? For that special lady in your life, a little something to show you care about her personal comfort and well-being. Nothin' says lovin' like a big ol' box of Monistat, gentlemen. Trust me. It will be a Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary to remember. And what woman can resist the added, "And you'll be so proud of me dear; I saved $5 on 3!"

I just don't know what to think about this company's intentions. You'd think for the sake of customer relations and brand loyalty they'd offer a coupon good for "50 cents off one, and our sincere best wishes for your good health." That way, should I ever need a second box, I'll pick the company that didn't wish the yeast upon me in the first place.

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