Sunday, February 20, 2005

Take a Pill

Okay, so the writer's block has lifted. I am working, sadly, and the TV is on in the background. I have, I kid you not, just seen the most insane commercial ever. It is for "Altovis" and it begins thusly: "Life requires energy, and too many people suffer from fatigue as a result of too much work, too little sleep, life pressures...etc etc." (That's a paraphrase, but it's pretty accurate).

Okay, let me get this straight. There is a pill for FATIGUE! Not Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, not chemo-induced, anemia-related fatigue. Nope. Just "fatigue." More hysterically, the commercial goes on to say, "Symptoms of fatigue include tiredness, irritability, inability to focus..." I pretty much laughed out loud at that because it describes most of us most of the time. We are all fatigued. It may be stupid, but it did give me an idea for making tons of money: I'm going to sell EPpes-Essen (yiddish for "something to eat").

EPpes Essen is available only by prescription (written by me), and sold (by me) to the consumer at a low, low cost. My commercials will start with, "Too many people go to work hungry, do housework while hungry, cook dinner while hungry, usually from not eating enough. But now there's EPpes Essen; it's a new drug for people who can't get through a day without suffering from hunger. Symptoms of hunger include lightheadedness, tummy rumbling, irritability and bad breath. This trailblazing new product, sometimes known by its generic name "food" will revolutionize the way Americans treat their hunger. Ask your doctor whether EPpes Essen is right for you..."

Who wants to invest?!

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