Benjamin Disraeli, British Prime Minister and erudite dandy, once said: "Little things affect little minds."
If that is true, then I have a teeny-tiny mind. Why? Because the following things bug me: (feel free to comment with your own!)
--White shoes on anyone but kids on Easter, nurses, or 60+ year-old men
--Idle rich celebutantes like Paris Hilton
--People who lick their fingers before flipping through papers, dollar bills, etc.
--Austin Powers impersonations now that it's been 8 years since the movie came out
--White people who say "bling bling" in a serious fashion
--Old Navy commercials
--"Enlarge your p*nis" emails
--The use of "-gate" to describe any and all political contretemps, whether relevant or not: Irangate, Filegate, Travelgate, Whitewatergate, Rathergate. Next journo to use "-gate" gets sent to Gitmo
--People who say "Gitmo"
Short Story Long: People who say pseudo-witty things like, "short story long."