Or, as Dana Farber calls it, "nasal wash."
After my big 6 month blog post about infection control, guess what?! I have a chest cold. So I called my doctor yesterday, who told me to come in for a chest x-ray and a nasal wash. Sounds simple enough, right? Oh dear. A nasal wash involves spraying saline down into your nose while you lie down, neck open like you would be positioned for CPR. Then they suck it out, put it in a vial and see if anything viral grows over the next 24 hours. I cannot tell you how uncomfortable it is to have liquid forcibly injected into your breathing apparatus even for a very short time, even when you know that they are immediately going to suck it back out and that you are indeed going to breathe again. I cannot tell you how uncomfortable it is when they say, "Oh, we didn't get enough; we'll need to do it again." It is really really not a pleasant feeling, and the weird "water should not have been in there" feeling stays with you for the rest of the day.
We're still waiting for the results. In the meantime it made me ponder waterboarding. Yes, I AM so self-involved as to speak of a minor medical procedure and torture in the same sentence. But that's the point, isn't it? That safe and minor procedure was so uncomfortable and so icky in that not-as-God-or-nature-intended kind of way (and remember that I am, at this point, a woman of extremely high pain threshold) that it absolutely confirmed in my mind that waterboarding cannot be considered anything but torture, both physical and mental. And don't tell me that waterboarding is really just an assertive interview technique called "simulated drowning." Friends, if someone poured water down your cakehole, wouldn't you call that ACTUAL attempted drowning? Simulated, my a**.
IMHO, people have the luxury of calling something "not torture" only when they have not undergone it. My recommendation for anyone who wonders if waterboarding is torture, is to just get a little nasal wash. Seriously. Just a little, safe, no-big-deal, routine procedure that involves a few cc's of liquid in your respiratory system. That is all it will take to demonstrate that one drop more liquid and one less caring physician would make that the worst experience of your life.