Friday, June 29, 2007

Sexy Toddler Chic

From The Arizona Republic by way of

GapKids recently featured a white, crocheted string bikini you'd likely see Anna Kournikova wearing on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. The bikini was for a 12-month-old. Racks at Target held several bathing suits perfect for a Hawaiian Tropic bikini competition. The crocheted and camouflage-designed suits started at Size 4 in the little girls' section. Inseams on "classic" shorts at stores such as Abercrombie Kids and Hollister Co. are microscopic. And halter tops, shirts often lauded by fashion consultants for their ability to enhance a less-than-voluptuous chest, are everywhere for every age. Moms hoping to find anything even mildly modest have to be happy Bermuda shorts are trendy again.

How disturbing is that? What "parents" would put their kid in a string bikini? I'm all for slutting it up if you're the one making the fashion call for yourself. Have at it, high schoolers, if that's what you want to sell. But to dress your toddler in a crocheted string bikini? What next? Toddler pasties? Little boy g-strings?

I remember being a kid and running around the beach naked. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find a single photo of me on a beach before age 4 (and after 23... hee hee) with any clothes on at all. Honestly, I find that to be more natural and less frightening than dressing a kid suggestively. A naked baby is a naked baby. A toddler in Maxim-worthy gear is twelve ways not right. This whole story just creeps me out, perhaps less because the clothes exist and more because there are actual parents buying them. I guess we can just await the next big reality show: America's Sexiest Toddler, which is (as the Book of Revelation clearly outlines) a sign of the coming apocalypse.


Anonymous said...

Marketing crocheted bikinis to 4 year olds makes me want to scratch my eyes out. What the heck are those numbskulls at Target thinking?

Geoff said...

They're thinking money.

And they're going to make a lot of it.