Monday, May 11, 2009

This One's For the Mamas and the Baby Mamas' Mamas

Happy Belated Mother's Day to everyone out there, especially my mum who keeps it real 24/7, and my MIL who did such a nice job raising her son that I married him. :)

My Mother's Day began with Bambina taking me out for a "special donut" to Dunkin Donuts. Very cute. Actually, she gave me my gift waaay before that, in that she did NOT wake up at her usual 3 or 4am "to go potty," so I slept all the way through the night for once. Yeah! Believe me, I'm psyched my child wakes up to pee rather than wetting herself or needing diapers at 4, but my god, I cannot wait till she just wakes up and goes without having to have me present for the event. Because obviously she goes right back to sleep and I do not.

Then we went to our Parent-Child pottery class at the JCC. It's really neat working on projects with her because I get to more fully understand her personality and process. She's very artistic--and very opinionated in that regard. The teacher is suggesting things like, "Oh, if you are making a 'fairy house' then you could add x or y." Bambina? "No thank you." Teacher: "Or, you could do this or that." Bambina: "No thank you." She has a vision for what she's creating and will not deviate from it unless the idea presented adds something to her piece without changing it. Or unless she is allowed to take that idea and do something with it that is specific to her. It's pretty much a metaphor for how she approaches the world. She's got her ideas of what she wants to wear, what she wants to do, how she wants to do it.

From seeing her in art class, I'm learning to put an idea in her head and then step back from it and let it percolate with her. Yesterday the teacher suggested a painting method that she originally said "No thank you" to. Then I could see her wheels turning. Ten minutes later? She was doing it. She just needed to feel like it was coming from her. Much like her father who, when he asked if I'd move to another state with him while we were just dating, was told once--and only once--"I'll move if you ask me to marry you by the end of the year. I won't bring it up again. But just know that on December 31st, 19whatever, at midnight, I will be packing my stuff up and moving back if I don't have a ring on my finger by then." The ring was bestowed three months ahead of schedule. Precisely because (in addition to my awesomeness), he knew the choice was his. I didn't hector him, I didn't harangue him daily, I didn't constantly try to make my point. I made my point and then shut up to let it percolate. The BBDD appears very laid back and all Free To Be You And Me, but he's no simpleton. He chafes at authority and, as his career path shows, has fought to create exactly his vision for his professional life against the advice of "wiser" individuals. This is my Bambina as well. Something I've only more fully realized by seeing her working on her art. God help us.

In addition to being uniquely herself, Bambina is also a textbook egocentric almost-five year-old. Best illustrated by her question yesterday: "If today is Mother's Day and next time is Father's Day, when is Kid's Day?" Perhaps the other 363 days of the year, sweetie? Blank stare.

In any case, whether your kids are 6 or 60, I hope you had a great mother's day.

ps--It's a little late, but you can still send this personalized Mom of the Year Award video to your mom.

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