Wednesday, March 04, 2009


The cast comes off Friday--and that means more blogging, darlings! I can't wait. I can't wait because I long to shower two-handed, hold a brush and hair dryer at the same time, open a jar of peanut butter without the help of my 4 year-old, and most importantly be free of this now-horrifyingly gross germ carrier that prevents the proper washing of hands. Three Days To Go. I haven't been this excited since my Bush Countdown Clock!

In other goings-on, I've decided that I judge people on Facebook by their status messages. Yep. I'm a jerk. I like funny ones, descriptive ones, interesting ones, ones that tell me how the updater is feeling. I despise status messages like the following:

E is at the post office
E is making a sandwich
E is.
E is getting coffee

I'm sorry, but who TF cares!?? Tell me something I don't know. Tell me you're getting coffee because you need a PM buzz. Tell me you're at the PO sending a letter to your Grandma in Flatbush. Tell me you are making the most boring sandwich ever but you don't care. Just tell me something besides the facts. Or else I think less of you. ;)

On that note, an FB friend asked me in an email if I'm "different since the transplant." I first gave a blow-off answer like, "well, I'm a bit kinder and less judgmental, but I also have less patience for complainers...." Here's the real answer:

I blew off your "are you different since the transplant" question. Or, I sort of half-answered it in an inarticulate way. The truth is, I am different in ways I don't even know yet, and the same in what I hope are better ways. Not sure if that makes more or less sense than what I said yesterday. But that's what I've got at this point. Maybe it will all be clearer when it's really all over, ie, I'm not on meds that make me feel like crap daily, I don't have to go to the ER for a fever, I'm not afraid of people sneezing on my hair at a kiddie show. Until then, I think that's the best answer I can give, nebulous though it may be. But thanks for asking, really. Most people just want to know if I found religion or something else tangible or easily characterized. But how do you boil down into one aphorism: I was sick for a while, I almost died one very scary night, I got a transplant with days left on my clock, I lived the first day, I lived the second day, I lived until I stopped counting it in days, I lived until I could go to school with my child again, I lived until I stopped counting it in months, I keep on living....I don't know if that makes me a better person or whether it just makes me healed in the broken places and therefore more aware of the broken places in other people. I think I'll have an answer in a few years. When I stop counting how long I've lived in years since May 2007.


Anonymous said...

Loved your second answer (as it gained speed toward the end).

p.s. You are NOT less judgmental, but we accept you for you! :-)

cocot said...

good news on the wrist - and all the other healing that is far less obvious.