Monday, March 23, 2009

Honestly?

I'm having trouble caring about blogging. Or, rather, I'm having trouble caring about the stuff I ought to cover in this blog. Maybe it's writer's block, but maybe it's something more than that.

When Star Spangled Haggis began in 2004, it was something I threw up (with the help of a very tech-savvy friend) because some family and friends liked my kooky stories about work and life and politics. So it was a way to tell the stories and keep in touch with people I already knew.

In 2005 it served as a wonderful way to communicate with friends and family while we were in China being joined with Bambina.

It has more recently served as a way to communicate all the funny and stupid and unpleasant elements of a stem cell transplant.

Somewhere between the transplant and now, I've lost the urge to talk politics 24/7. Maybe because I don't have the time I had while a shut-in to read/surf the web/study/ and understand all the issues, any post on a given topic feels like it would be nonsense prattling.

I've also found myself straying into Dear Diary territory and that breaches the Prime Directive of this blog from its founding: no diary writing. I'm also veering into Mommy Chronicles territory, which is entertaining now and again, but not really something that makes me sit up till 2am getting on a blog.

So, as U2 said after the monster success of The Joshua Tree and Rattle and Hum, "this is the end of something...we have to go away and...dream it all up again." What they dreamed up was Achtung Baby, an album unlike any they had created before. One particular song on AB, called Acrobat, really spoke to my 1992 self. A couple of lines are speaking to me now:

What are we going to do now it's all been said?
No new ideas in the house, and every book's been read.

So I'm thinking that might be what I need to do here. Maybe go away and dream it all up again. Find a new voice, a new way of saying new things. Maybe let the Haggis go with dignity before I manage to kill it with mediocrity.

15 comments:

Utah Savage said...

I've never ever read a word of mediocrity here. I've enjoyed ever post I ever read here. I know I don't come every day, but I would hate the thought of your not being here when I need to read about a woman like you, a woman with your passion and courage. I think you might be the only really great parent I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know. I know this is a shallow relationship. We've never met, but I feel as if I know you. You are a generous writer. You are a talented writer, no matter what you write about.

Anonymous said...

I wish I were as well-spoken as Utah Savage, but I also would hate the thought of your not being here. One of my favorite lines from a very silly movis (Shag)-"girl, you make me think"! You'll be missed.

Anonymous said...

NOOOOO!!!! I can not give up my haggis! Please say it ain't so!

St said...

Give yourself a little time but please don't go away! This is the only way some of us know you and I know I would miss the first person I ever got to know through blogging.

Anonymous said...

I agree with St; take some time, but I would be sad to be faced with no Haggis in my life (even if I am a Republican!). Take care of yourself, lady.

B

johnnypeepers said...

You had a great run. No one wants their blog to veer into shark jumping territory. I support any action (or inaction) you may take regarding the future of this blog.

Word Verification: mistort

Utah Savage said...

See? Are you listening? We would miss you terribly. I like your daughter more than any other daughter I've read about anywhere. I love your parenting style. You foray into cooking is delicious. You tackle everything with passion. And you didn't drop by and pick up your last award from me. It's the Sisterhood of the Bloggesses Award. If that isn't validation that what you write is meaningful and interesting, I don't know what is. And it's so obvious to me that you're a real writer. You could easily publish these essays on multi-cultural mothering in the waning days of conspicuous consumption and over the top birthday parties.

Anonymous said...

Sister, I understand, but I will miss reading about your life. Sometimes that is the only way I know what is going on! I love you no matter what. PJ

Geoff said...

As someone who used to update sept-weekly and now barely writes two or three things a week, I can honestly say that I've honestly got nothing to say most of the time.

That's alright. Quality over quantity. And the only good cliché is a dead cliché.

So in saying that, sure, take some time for reflection. But you'd be doing the blog and mysel- I mean... your readers an injustice if you never came back.

Seriously. The internet can never have enough Haggis.

Akira said...

I've been a long-time reader, who often wanted to post a comment. No matter what you decide to do with this blog, the world is a better place for your having done this. As a fellow adoptive parent, I thank you for so gracefully discussing the beautiful complexities of our kinds of families (as well as reminding us all that families, however they come to be, share so many things in common). As a person of color, I thank you for being an ally. And as a little blue dot in a red state, thank you for being a touchstone. Be well.

Anonymous said...

Much love. Much love. --Guillermo

Ken said...

Consider taking a sabbatical rather than shutting down. You're a skilled and insightful writer. Don't confuse fatigue or burnout with being out of things to say.

I'd miss reading your stuff a lot.

Vigilante said...

I second and echo Utah S. And I also remind everyone that Utah says (or used to say) on her blog that she believes everything is political. That's my belief, too.

But that aside, as you know, E., I have been in transition, too. With a guy the White House who's smarter (finally!) than I am, I find I have less to say. So, I find myself speaking up less frequently. And mellowing out some.

I considered alternatives, like you do above. But in the end, I could not turn away from the path I have trod.

Transitions occur. I plead with others here, that you not close up shop.

PC Plod said...

Talk, write, or blog as you decide, but ALWAYS remain true to yourself and your legacy as a Scot, a politico, a mom, a wife, a daughter, and a sister...
In other words, live your life the way you want or need to and I will support your decision no matter what. It's what brothers do. Firm Embrace and Back Slap included.

Joe Tornatore said...

don't go.