Monday, September 11, 2006

Fresh Fruit is Dangerous to Your Health

To the person who dropped the entire container of blueberries on the sidewalk in front of my steps and just walked away, here is the ripple effect of your total lack of civility:

1. Mother walks out of her house with her toddler in her arms.
2. Mother slips on the blueberries.
3. While trying to ensure she keeps her toddler out of harm's way (ie, to prevent her head from smashing onto the stone steps behind her),
4. Mother torques her back.
5. Mother cannot lift toddler into car without doing additional damage.
6. Mother can barely drive car.
7. Mother wakes up with unbearable back spasms that make her unable to lift her arms above her elbows
8. Which, in case you don't have a child, means that mother cannot make her child anything to eat, cannot open the freezer, cannot bend down to get her a cup, and cannot lift her child at all for a full day.
9. Mother has to call HER mother, who has to drive 45 minutes, to come and help her handle basic tasks.
10. Mother loses a day+ of work and is so pissed off she has to wait to blog about it for fear of FCC language violations.

First of all, who the hell drops an entire container of blueberries on a street?! Where were you going with them? Did you have tons of grocery bags, and if so from where? There are no grocery stores within walking distance.

Second, why not just stop for one second and just kick them into the tree box, about 12 inches from where they fell? Because you DID notice that they were directly in front of a home's steps, right? I'm not even asking you to pick them all up. I'm just asking you to not be a complete d**khead and at least move them out of the main path on the sidewalk. With your feet, even. Even just to disperse the 10 I stepped in, that formed a critical mass of squishy and slippery material that damn near took out me and my 2 year-old. One blueberry would not have been an issue; I assume even five would have been okay too. But two handfuls-worth? Yep, that's a disaster in the making.

So here's my beef. It's not that the world should somehow know that fresh blueberries pose a health hazard. It's not that people have no business walking with blueberries in their bags. It's my incredulousness that someone could essentially dump the contents of something on a sidewalk and then just walk away. Whether blueberries, buttons, envelopes or umbrellas; why would it ever be okay to walk away from a mess you have made just because you don't know the people on whose property you have made the mess? It confirms my misanthropy, which is ever-growing the more I live urban style.

D*mn Blueberries.

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