Thursday, May 12, 2005

Post-9/11 Flight Instruction Manual

Dear Pilots,

Please add the following supplement to your flight instruction manual regarding the navigation of your aircraft near Washington DC:

Section 2.3.1a
If you can see the Capitol Dome, fly in the opposite direction AWAY from downtown DC.
If you see the Capitol in the distance, do not fly closer to it.
If you see the Washington Monument in the distance, do not fly closer to it.
If you see the White House in the distance, do not fly closer to it.


Even without instruments, the preceding supplement should be adequate for ensuring your safety and precluding the need to evacuate the seat of power in the United States.

Happy Flying! Morons.

3 comments:

Raine said...

So they're giving lessons in common sense now?

*Expletive*, the hijackers essentially had the planes under their control. What good will an amended pilot manual do?

I'm looking forward to computer flown planes. They won't need to worry about "capital buildings" or "memorials." To a computer, it's binary. "Solid" or "Not Solid." "Crash," or "Not Crash."

Anonymous said...

100% computer flown plane will never happen. All it takes is one bad apple to put a few lines of code somewhere that say 'Crash on Sept. 11, 2010 at 4PM EST' and suddenly every 'new' plane in the world is crashing simulateously.

Raine said...

It also took only a few bad apples to hijack a few planes, and fly them into buildings. Such a simple action has caused a catalyst of death into the present day.

At least we can't use computer error as a justification for war.