As Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias, "Now, you know I would rather walk on my lips than criticize, but..."
This is courtesy of a former colleague. It's unkind to laugh at it, but laugh I did. For several minutes. So this is the part where, in true southern style, I say, "bless her heart" before serving her up to you for (friendly, good natured, I hope) ridicule.
(Click on "Samples" and go to "Dancing Queen" if you only have time for one song).