Okay. Having been home from China for about 7 weeks, I would like to take this opportunity to say the following things, and I mean them in the kindest, tenderest way:
To All the Caucasians:
I get it. She doesn't look like me. You think that's funny/cute/remarkable.
You have about one more month to keep saying it, but as soon as she understands what you are saying I'm going to shut you down HARD. And I'll do that by discussing YOUR looks ad nauseum: "My! You used to be so much thinner! You look nothing like your younger photos. Your son is quite a bit fatter than you. Your husband must be what? ten years younger than you?" Trust me. I'll do it. Because as funny/cute as you think it is, and as much as you think you are the first person to say it to me, it's getting old really fast. Not to mention that it's not actually that funny, if you think about it. It just IS what it is: a clueless person reminding my daughter that she is not "mine" and that she is different. She'll already know it and won't need you to comment on how not like her parents she is to feel that reality. So chuckle to yourself if you do indeed find it funny, but just assume I've heard it a hundred times before thinking you'll share the mirth with me. I get it. She doesn't look like me. How hilarious!
To all the Asians:
If my daughter is staring at you and/or smiling at you, it's because she does that to everyone. It's NOT because you are Asian and "familiar" to her. Seriously. I know you mean well. But really. That makes no sense. As I've said before, to assume that a random Asian person will be more "familiar" to my daughter than I am, or her father or her grandparents is ludicrous. She may notice similarities at her age, but children don't develop a sense of racial identity until much, much later. The fact that you are Asian is not what makes my daughter smile at you. It's because she smiles at lots of people. She also DOESN'T smile at lots of people, some of them also Asian. She smiles at people she wishes to smile at, end of story, be they fluorescently white Scottish people, dark African-American people or anyone in between. Again, I know you mean well. But, again, it's getting old. So if she smiles at you, take the compliment personally, not as a member of an ethnic group.
To all the Nosy People:
Don't ask me how much "it" cost. How much did your kid cost? Oh, you wouldn't dare put a price on your children?! Right. So why ask me to do it? I was asked this question this weekend and I answered with, "More than we had in the bank; far far less than she's worth." The questioner pressed with, "No really. Just a ballpark?" I couldn't believe it. Have you ever heard of google, dude? Look it up.
Okay, now I can go to sleep with that off my chest. You all can bill me for the full hour of therapy...