Today's Washington Post Style section features an article about a guy who is honest with women about relationships. So much so, that he became a consultant to Sex and the City, as the voice of the "straight male" in the scriptwriting. He has now written a book with the title, "He's Just Not That Into You." (I'll post a link as soon as I learn how to do it).
His point to women of all ages is as follows: If he doesn't call, doesn't commit, dates other people, is "too busy" to spend time with you or call, etc etc ad nauseum, the answer is very simple: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. To paraphrase him, "I don't care if I'm flying the space shuttle tomorrow morning," if a woman who interests him wants to get together, there is no way he'd let anything get in the way of getting together.
Short Story Long: What a genius and novel concept! Ladies, it's time to stop wondering and investigating and agonizing over "what you did or didn't do" or "what he really means" by not calling, committing or making time. It's crystal clear: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. It's a painful reality, but less painful than agonizing for days, weeks, months or even years about what *you* need to do differently to get him to call, commit or make time. The only thing you need to do differently is cut your losses and find the guy who DOES want to call, commit and make the time. Case in point: the author himself is now married with a 2-year old child. He knew his wife was The One when he found himself complying with her (sometimes not so) gentle insistence that he was going to have to perform at a higher level emotionally and personally to be with her. He started calling on time and making the time, and he got the girl.
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Along the same lines, a sermon by TD Jakes:
Let Go For 2004
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you…..let them walk.
I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean, Hang Up The Phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that “they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us.” [John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is so over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of goodbye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift; I believe in goodbye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don’t need it.
Stop begging people to stay! Let them go!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to LET IT GO.
If you are holding onto past hurts and pains: LET IT GO.
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth: LET IT GO.
If someone has angered you: LET IT GO.
If you are holding on to thoughts of evil and revenge: LET IT GO.
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction: LET IT GO.
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents: LET IT GO.
If you have a bad attitude: LET IT GO.
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better: LET IT GO.
If you’re stuck in the past and you are not open to being taken to the future: LET IT GO.
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship: LET IT GO.
If you are trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves: LET IT GO.
If you are feeling depressed and stressed: LET IT GO.
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. LET IT GO! LET IT GO! Get Right or Get Left Behind. Think about it….and then LET IT GO.
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