E Wears A Dress. Film at 11.

Just got back from the wedding! It was GREAT. Total fun in every way. It was a Jewish-Catholic affair where all the key religious elements of both were incorporated. It was wonderful to see the bride and groom so happy, and it was great to be out and about as an individual person who is not speaking in the third person as "mommy." I swear to god, I actually did that with my mother, who was babysitting. I actually said to my mother who was looking for something, "I'll get that for you, but Mommy is putting on her mascara right now..." My mom looked at me sympathetically and said, "Yes, my dear, you do need a night out, don't you?" Did I ever.

It was awesome. Sat with a bunch of UChicago Law School grads who were awesome, fun people. Peed multiple times in the men's room because (of course) there was only a one-person bathroom for the women with a 7-person waiting line. Aw, hell NO! So I went to the (multi-stalled) men's room, yelled in to see if any men were there, and hearing none, went on in and did my thing before Female Customer #3 was even near the stall door in the Ladies Room. I have multiple hang-ups, but peeing next to men is not one of them.

On the more social side, the music rocked. Old school stuff. Bust a Move, BrickHouse, all the classics for people in their 30's. I danced a little but felt a little self-conscious about my dress. It's a sexy-ish dress with some revealing back-age, and although I had a coverup/wrap I still felt a bit like a ho dancing in it. Not because there was anything wrong with the dress but perhaps more because it has been so long since anyone has seen my back that I felt weird shakin' it to A-ha's Take On Me in front of a crowd. Although maybe that embarrassment was more about dancing to A-ha's Take On Me rather than my outfit at the time...

The one thing I will say, sartorially, back-baring ho that I may be, is that I still believe that nipples are NOT appropriate wedding wear. People of good faith can differ on what is appropriate for nuptials of varying religions, but I think we can all come together on the notion that people with Acute Nipple-itis ought to a)stay home or b)invest in the appropriate foundation garments to ensure the wedding doesn't go all NC-17 on us. Can I get a witness?!! A wedding attendee, I kid you not, had on a black dress with no bra and D*MN if it wasn't a bit breezy outside during the ceremony! I was horrified for her! I don't think the male attendees minded, but she had to know that those gasps heard as the bride walked down the aisle were not for the bride's beautiful, glowing demeanor but for this woman's obvious teats-at-attention.

Another highlight was my opportunity to actually use the term, "I love your work" with a decently well-known politico attending the wedding. I kvelled about his books and his thoughts on Iraq, and would have felt more like a brazen "starf&*#ker" if he hadn't been about 4 feet tall and therefore, completely out of my league; Luckily for him, I only go for guys 4'9" and taller...

So that was the wedding that was. Louisiana Catholics and Midwestern Jews, a rabbi and a priest. A set of topnotch chuppah holders, and a fantastic bride and groom. It was a fabulous wedding that, now that I think about it, was so wonderful precisely BECAUSE OF and not in spite of, the lady with the nipples. She brought joy to 50% of the guests, and at the very least, she obviously remembers what it's like to be a human other than "somebody's mommy," which maybe is worth a little mammilla visual magic now and again...