Who ARE these people?!

Just for kicks, if you go to the Oprah website you can click on "Be on a Show." Some of the categories are absolutely hilarious: "Do you have an embarrassing medical problem? Do you feel not good enough? Unhappy in the bedroom? Using sex to feel good about yourself?"

Who are the people who are writing in with, "Dear Oprah, I am Sooooo unhappy in the bedroom. My partner is craptastic in bed but I don't know how to tell him except in a studio full of people with you and some Dr. Phil wannabe by our side..."? Who ARE these people? And who DOESN'T feel good about themselves after sex? That's what sex is for (besides procreation, for the Alito supporters out there). Who has sex to feel BAD?!! If the guy is doing it right, you ought to walk away feeling like the hottest woman on the planet till you see him again. Or until you email Oprah.

Anyway, one of my favorite options is the "are you somebody's biggest fan?" You are encouraged to send in a video of how big an actor/athlete/celebrity's fan you are, showing all the kooky (and borderline insane) things you do to see them and have them in your life. I suppose by writing it here that I am disqualifying myself, but I was thinking that it would be funny to pretend to be crazy for some B-list celebrity or barely-on-the-radar new actor just for kicks. Like, "Dear Oprah, I am INSANELY in love with Dan Butler, the actor who played Robert "Bulldog" Briscoe on TV's Frasier! I own all his straight to video DVDs and I cancelled all social plans to watch every Frasier episode just in case he was featured! I named my daughter Bambina "Bulldog" because I love him so much, and I just had a totally cute bulldog tattooed on my butt..."

Again--who ARE these people?!