A Special Place In Hell

...is reserved for men who cheat. And how about those stand-up guys who want credit for ensuring their wives were IN REMISSION before getting it on with another woman? Wow.

I have had an Edwards post ready to go for a few days but was waiting for something besides the Enquirer to report it before posting. After all, these are the "Reese Witherspoon is having Jake Gyllenhaal' s baby" people. You can't be too careful with a "paper" you buy in the checkout aisle, now can you?

But now that he's come out of the selfish pr*ck closet, I can let 'er rip on the late, great John Edwards.

First, on behalf of the Democratic Party: what if you had gotten the nomination and this had come out now, weeks before the convention? Thank you for handing the election to the GOP. What if you'd wasted Obama's time as a potential VP or cabinet pick?

Second, on behalf of women in general: We get why you did it, "narcissism" and all. But HOW did you do it? You love someone for so many years and find yourself physically able to be with someone else so easily? How does that happen? How do you so easily throw away a loving, long history for a chance to drop your drawers with some chick you just met? Call it Mars/Venus, whatever. But how you get to say you love one woman in the same breath that you have to discuss the fatherhood of another woman's baby is simply beyond me. How your wife is still with you is also beyond me.

Thirdly, on behalf of men everywhere: They are not thanking you, because actions like yours create conversations like this: Woman: "Why do guys do that? What's wrong with men?" Man: "Honey, I don't know." Woman: "No, but really. What is it with guys? How can you guys do stuff like that?" Man: "What do you mean 'you guys'? We're still talking about John Edwards here, right?"

And finally, on behalf of women who've come through a life threatening illness. Let me just say this, and feel free to remove the kids from the room before I say it: You were so grateful to God for your wife's (at the time) survival of cancer that you just had to f*ck another woman? So thankful your kids still had a mother that you felt compelled to poke your pecker in some hippy-dippy aging party girl? What kind of amoral universe do you live in, John Edwards? How do you cap off a year of your wife fighting for her life by cheating on her? And you get caught by visiting her--after coming clean to your wife--without your wife's knowledge of the visit. These are not the actions of a contrite man, lying AGAIN to your wife.

John, I have always been on board your war on poverty. But now I'm going to have to ask you to declare war on the poverty of compassion and empathy that is clearly present in your own soul.