Sign O' The Times

Two key pieces of evidence that I am indeed old:

1. Prince, the Potentate of Purpleness, the man who rocked my adolescence, is getting a hip replacement. That's right, all of you who danced to "1999" thinking, "This is a song about the distant future!" Prince is old enough to need a hip replacement.

2. In lesser-known-to-Americans celebrity news, Todd Carty had a heart attack on stage last week. Todd Carty played the dreamy Tucker Jenkins on the British show Grange Hill. I'm not sure what the American equivalent would have been; it was more drama and more reality-based than Saved By The Bell. Maybe like a DeGrassi Junior High or something? Anyhoo, the point being that Todd Carty, the delicious and insouciant and dreamy and rascally Tucker Jenkins of my childhood is now old enough to have a heart attack.

All I need now is for Ricky Schroder to get diverticulitis and I'm closing up shop and moving to Boca.