Condi, Take Notes

Courtesy of DCSis, some words from Scotland's Elder Statesman on the recent terrorist attacks at Glasgow Airport.

I give you: Billy Connolly


"Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the world where I could depend on one of the locals to kick a man who was on fire, it would always be Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore bollocks... I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...

I love the naivete of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a football [soccer] team for Christ's sake... {referring to the Catholic-Protestant issue battled out weekly by C or P 'fitba' teams}

The Sun [newspaper] last week urged us all to respond to the attack by flying the Union Jack. Really, in Glasgow that's never been a great way of getting your insurance premiums down...

People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel container. I say it's lucky they didn't hit the queue coming out of Duty Free - the whole place would have gone up like Hiroshima... The best bit is being told that hundreds of people were saved from being hideously burnt...these were Scottish people flying to Spain! They'll come back looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip of a volcano!"