Affliction

What a weekend. I hope Easter was lovely for those who celebrated. We're still in Passover till Tuesday, so still with the no leaven, ie, bread, pasta, beer--anything wheat-related or fermentable or--oh, the list goes on and on. This year I'm taking no chances and eating prunes (or, as the purveyors of prunes insist we call them: dried plums) like they're going out of style (were they ever IN style?) to counteract the previously-described "binding" nature of matzoh. The Bread of Affliction indeed.

Speaking of affliction, I got sprung from my mostly self-imposed house arrest yesterday when we went to color eggs at a friend's house. Bambina had a great time seeing her friend, and I had a great time seeing her parents, my friends. The affliction, however, was all theirs. I walked in with my own ten-gallon sized drum of Purell, my own plastic utensils, and a big old mask on to frighten the young'uns. Nothing says "gracious guest" more than bringing your own disinfecting materials to a host's home and telling them you can't eat with their silverware lest it kill you. I'm nothing if not charming from the word Go, darlings.

Speaking further of affliction, I was--there is no delicate way to put this--"dutch ovened" by my child today. Yup. We were hiding under a blanket counting down from twenty, until getting to zero, throwing off the blanket and yelling "Blast Off!" as we careened into outer space. We were at 14, 13, 12 when Bambina "Buzz" Aldrin fired up her solid rocket boosters right into my face while resolutely holding the blanket down (because you can't throw it off till Blast Off, Mama). I said, "Did you just fart in my face?!" She said, in hysterics, "Yes! Haahahahahahahahahahaha!" Even with my super-industrial hotzone mask on, my eyes were still watering; but it was only partly due to the oven situation. It was also no small amount of pride. Because you can't really teach a kid to find innate joy in delivering a dutch oven; they either have that in them or they don't. I always hoped that my kid would be a "have" just like her Mama, and d*mmit if today didn't prove how blessed I am, even in affliction.