There's Gay and then there's Gay Sex

The previous post discussed Ted Haggard's defense that he did not have "gay sex." What I didn't cover in that post was my issue with the judgmental tone of the term "gay sex." There was a line in the show Friends where Chandler said of Chinese food: "Yeah, but in China, it's just called 'food.'" Why does the term "gay sex" exist when "hetero sex" doesn't? If two gay people are having sex, they are having sex. Not gay sex. And why does every discussion about gay people have to be about "gay sex"? I know plenty of heteros who ain't gettin' any sex of any kind. Are they straight because they're having hetero sex? It would appear not. So why the assumption that gay people are all about the gay sex any more than heteros are all about the hetero sex?

In a wonderful, life-affirming counterpoint to the seedy aura surrounding Ted Haggard's situation (accusations of "gay sex"), my young girl crush, Doogie Howser, has announced that he is gay in perhaps the nicest way I've ever heard it described:

Neil Patrick Harris is gay and wants to quell any rumors to the contrary. "(I) am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest," Harris tells People magazine's Web site. The 33-year-old actor said he was motivated to disclose his sexuality because of recent "speculation and interest in my private life and relationships." Harris stars on the CBS comedy "How I Met Your Mother." He started on TV as a teen, playing the namesake doctor on the series "Doogie Howser, M.D."

Now if only Ted Haggard had been in a situation where he felt comfortable and supported enough to be himself, to live in the skin that God (yes, God) intended him to, to not be considered sinful or evil for simply being who he is, he more than likely would not have found himself in hotel rooms with a prostitute, allegedly taking meth. When you tell someone that who they are is evil and depraved in no less than God's eyes, they not only have to hide it, they have to subvert it. That's how they end up working to prove their enmity for gay people, undermining human rights for gay people, and having secret "gay sex" rather than just being "content...living life to the fullest" people who happen to be gay.