Geezers R Us

In further signs that I am now a genuine geezer, I watched the MTV Video Music Awards the other night and found myself perplexed by the whole thing. I NEVER thought I'd look at any kind of current music production and think, "I just don't get it. What are they saying? I can't understand a word of it! And why do they have to look so trashy?!"

But sadly, yeah. I actually thought that, verbatim. All the rappers who came onstage, all thanking God for giving them the talent and ability to rap about their bling and their ho's. All the "celebrities" whose sole contribution to the culture is appearing in a reality show featuring their at-times breathtaking mediocrity as humans beings. All the songs, most of which made no sense to me, sung by people who looked high, insane, or both. It was all I could do to not finish my rant with something like, "And I'll clean your clock, Sonny Jim!"

Send me my AARP card ASAP.

I tried to think back to when I was in high school, when MTV was all about big hair, all about Bon Jovi and Ratt and Def Leppard and a little bit of "Yo! MTV Raps" with generous helpings of LL Cool J and Run DMC. At the time I took evil delight in knowing that my dad took a dim view of "those poofs," not in the gay sense but in the sense of grown men sporting long hair and spandex trousers. I think he felt alternately embarrassed for, and angrily annoyed at them for being so ridiculous, and perhaps that is what I was feeling the other night. Bewilderment that young people could look up to acts like Chamillionaire or The Pussycat Dolls and not see them for the egregiously untalented parodies-of-themselves that they are; annoyed that this is how "far" our popular culture has come; despairing that this is the best we have to show for having the largest and most thriving entertainment industry in the world (excepting Bollywood).

In the end, I realized that the MTV VMAs simply represent the inexorable march of time and culture, from one generation to the next, each seemingly more shocking and antisocial than the last. Which means that I ought to revel in today's glorious, mediocre and annoying inanity because it will all be much worse in 10 years. So with that in mind, I did what any self-respecting geezer must do in order to regain sanity and achieve {serenity now!}. I switched over to Matlock then went to bed. ;)