Sunday, August 28, 2005

Yesterday's News

My dear friend AO and I were talking yesterday about how our lives are now so busy that we have become those people whose primary source of news information is The Daily Show. It is a demographic about which much hay has been made in the media. I think they are supposed to be between 18 and 35, single, no kids, kind of dumb, blah blah blah. We are both, in different ways, not entirely representative of that demographic, and yet the closer we get to being completely out of that demographic, the more we reflect its behavior.

I simply do not have the time I used to have to read three newspapers, troll the internet for insightful commentary, or to sit and formulate my own opinions on multiple issues of the day. Right now I spend more time with Anthony Wiggle, Elmo and Big Bird than I do with Tim Russert, Thomas Friedman and Jim Pinkerton combined. It's a sad, sad state of affairs that I know is temporary. It is however, the way it is for now.

Which explains why The Daily Show (the 8pm rerun of last night's show; not the new one--which is an even sadder state of affairs now that I write it down!) has become the show I eat dinner with after putting the Bambina to bed. Some days it is my only window into the fact that there is a vacancy on the Supreme Court or that Iraq is having a constitutional convention. From there I then log onto the net and (instead of doing client work like I'm supposed to) find commentary, insight and opposing views. But rare is the day when I have enough information to craft an opinion before watching The Daily Show.

So now I am wondering if this is an entirely shameful thing as the current thinking would have us believe. I want to believe it's not so bad that I don't watch Dan Rather or Tom Brokaw (what?! they are no longer there?! Where have I been?!!), and maybe it's okay that I glean what I can from what I can find in my limited spare time. I want to believe that it's okay as long as I am still interested in hearing about the news and making whatever brief attempts I can to locate opposing viewpoints to help me refine my thinking on the issue, rather than just saying "hell with it...I'd rather see what's up with Brangelina and Jennifer Aniston."

I want to believe I still have a shred of intellect on political issues of the day. But I'll have to ask Anthony Wiggle what he thinks first...

A Protest March for {Insert Your Cause Here}

My previous post about Cindy Sheehan mentioned my frustration that liberal groups have a bad habit of “kitchen sinking” their protests, rallies or celebrations, i.e., we can’t just have Earth Day. It has to be Earth Day plus Free Mumia plus Elian Gonzalez plus whatever. It is so frustrating and infuriating because it hinders our ability to actually make a targeted, insightful, credible statement about an issue, which hinders our ability to be an effective voice of the loyal opposition.

Case in point: Today’s Wash Post article about the September 11th Freedom Walk sponsored by the Pentagon.

"That rally [the protest rally] is being organized...as a major protest against the Iraq war, but other causes have been tossed into the mix, including support for Palestinians and opposition to U.S. policy in Haiti and the Phillippines..."

OMG!!! What is our problem?!!! Is this a "bring the troops home from Iraq" event or is it a Random Foreign Policy Protest event? I might attend the former, but I sure as hell am not attending or supporting the latter. What is WRONG with these people?!! It is politics/activism 101: Ask your supporters to do ONE THING ONLY. Either send money OR call your senator OR fill out this questionnaire OR attend the rally. The more details you pile on, the more you dilute potential support for your primary event or message.

Same thing with the issues: "You cannot sit at home if you oppose the war in Iraq." This is a powerful call to action. Get off your butt and make a statement.

Contrast that message with: "You cannot sit at home if you oppose the war in Iraq and have issues with our policy in Haiti and the Phillippines and want to make a statement about the Palestinians..." Um, what is our policy in Haiti again? Oh, gee, I'm not sure I know enough about that to really comment...oh man, my kid has a soccer game that day...oh--I wonder if Jewish people will be welcome at a rally with a Palestinian component...will it get ugly? Do I want my kid around that? Oh--well, we'll see if we have time to attend. It sounds sort of complicated now that I think about it...

There are several reasons we lose elections and continue to be a political joke. Our inability to FOCUS on one simple message is one of them.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Cindy Sheehan: A Misguided Mother

I used to consider myself a bit of a leftie, but it just seems in recent years that the left has gone over the deep end into completely laughable uselessness that not only irritates but frightens me. Case in point: Cindy Sheehan goes off the deep end, saying that a cabal of Jewish neocons controls American foreign policy:

"You get America out of Iraq and Israel out of Palestine and you'll stop the terrorism," Sheehan declares.

Should we remind her that terrorism existed long before Israel won Gaza in the Six Day War? Oh wait--she means "get Israel out of Palestine" as in "Israel should not exist." Riiight.

Sheehan stated that her son joined the military to protect the US, "not Israel." Wow. This is the latest in the centuries-old blood libel used against Jewish people. The accusation that Jews are drinking the blood of Christian children (hence the term "blood libel"). In the modern sense, Sheehan is exploiting the ridiculous fear that somewhere, somehow, Jews have their hands on the levers of power and are using it to Kill Your Children for their own benefit! Yes, you can always list a bunch of "itzes" and "cohens" and imply that they are really in charge, but it would seem to me that the people controlling our foreign policy right now are named Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld (and most recently, Powell). Especially since, as a Jewish person, I did not receive the memo that we are in control of the United States defense department, military and media. You would need to look to Rupert Murdoch for that honor, I'm sure.

To further show how off the rails Ms. Sheehan has gone (from justifiably grieving and angry mother to lefty, shrill nutjob), look no further than the rousing support she is receiving from David Duke:

In truth, Cindy Sheehan is absolutely right. Her son signed up in the military to defend America, not Israel, and to safeguard our own democracy, not the democracy of some foreign nation that neither wants nor needs it. In advancing this war for Israel, government and media advocates obviously couldn’t get Americans behind the war by saying it was a war for Israel. They had to make up bogus reasons for the war, such as saying that Iraq was an imminent threat to America and that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. Now that these lies have been exposed, they have changed the rationale for the war to “fighting for democracy” and “fighting against terrorism.”...Cindy Sheehan is right!"

I don't want to be the person who says this to a grieving Gold Star mother, but seriously: when you espouse a position to which DAVID DUKE attaches himself, it may be time to rethink the mainstream viability of your "movement."

In a larger context, I see this happen at every progressive/liberal/left event I've ever been to. As soon as you set up an Earth Day march down past the monuments in DC, the Free Mumia/Legalize Pot/NAMBLA people show up to muddy your message. Why? Because we let them. We don't want to devalue someone else's movement, so we just let them tag right along, saying nothing, all the while impeding the impact of our own movement on those whose minds we seek to change.

I kid you not. I have attended THREE separate marches/protests/celebrations in DC in the same number of years and every single one of them was, if not hijacked at least marred/obfuscated, by the fringe groups who also came out and who were not turned away at the door. If Cindy Sheehan really wants to be credible, she needs to get back to the basics of what moved her to act in the first place: not antipathy towards Jews disguised as antipathy toward Israel, not a message that dovetails nicely with that of a shameless white supremacist, and not a demeanor that implies that she somehow has more "moral authority" to stand there than any other parent who has lost a child in service to his or her country. She has tainted her original and quite valid message to the extent that she is now a caricature of her former, seemingly-noble self. If I were the POTUS, I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. And THAT is the double tragedy: that not only does she feel that her son died in vain, but because of her associations and ridiculous statements of late, her efforts to aright the situation are now also in vain.

I'm sure I've not only shocked and stunned people with my opinion on this, but have also pissed you off. Oh well. Let the flames begin, I suppose. Just don't set up camp outside my house with a David Duke cheering section...

Monday, August 22, 2005

A Mother's Testimonial

This just in: Wingnut bomber and fugitive Eric Robert Rudolph's mother says he is "not a monster."

Doesn't everybody's mother say that?! Why is that news? Why do news organizations consistently fall back on The Mother's Testimonial as if it has any meaning whatsoever? And why do they keep using the adjective "religious" to describe him?

The man killed and injured people in the most horrible way. He attacked without regard for human life: people at a bar, people at a Planned Parenthood clinic, and people attending the Olympics in 1996. For those who say he was religious, I would have to disagree, since he killed a church-going wife and mother in Olympic Park, not to mention helped ruin the life of Richard Jewell, the man accused of the bombing. I'm so tired of hearing that he was "religious." I will, I promise you, scream if I hear one more journo refer to him as "religious." He was not religious; he did not have religious convictions. He simply had a lot of hate and needed an excuse to unleash it. He was to Christianity what the members of al-Qaeda and Hamas are to Islam: a person who cherry-picks religious texts in order to justify his evil, monstrous acts.

I'm delighted that Mrs. Rudolph doesn't think her son is a monster. I'm delighted that CNN will be interviewing her to hear all about what a good kid he was...you know, BEFORE that silly business of him maiming and killing people with bombs. How nice for her. But I wonder if she has spoken to the young boy in Atlanta who has lived without his mother for almost a decade. I wonder if she has spoken to the people who were injured and maimed in his other bombings. I wonder if she has spoken with Richard Jewell whose name will always be synonymous with the Olympic Park bombing, either as the suspect or the cleared-suspect-whose-reputation-is-already-ruined.

Good for you, ma'am. Your son is not a monster. I'm sure you can come up with some excuse like you didn't hug him enough or he was teased in school or whatever. But let's not confuse reality with whatever intellectual fiction you have created to get yourself up in the morning...

ps--I am witty, charming and the prettiest, smartest girl in my entire town. You know it's true because My Mom Says So.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Paging Hugh Jass and Amanda Hugandkiss!


CHICAGO (AP) - LaChania Govan said she got bounced around by her cable company when she called to complain. She made dozens of calls and was even transferred to a person who spoke Spanish - a language she doesn't understand.

But when she got her August bill from Comcast she had no trouble understanding she'd made somebody mad. It was addressed to "Bitch Dog." "I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said Govan, 25. "I was so mad I couldn't even cuss."

Govan said the only thing she did to Comcast employees that might be considered rude came after a few dozen calls when she felt she was treated shabbily. "I did tell them, 'You know what, it has to be a qualification to work for your company that you have to be rude,'" she said.

Govan said she talked to a supervisor and he offered her two months free service, which she turned down. Finally Wednesday, about two weeks after she got her bill, somebody from the company left a message on her answering machine in which the caller apologized.

Comcast officials said it shouldn't have happened. "We only use the actual customers names on the bill," said Patricia Andrews-Keenan, a Comcast spokeswoman. Company officials went through the records and identified two people who were involved with the name change and fired them, Andrews-Keenan said. It's unknown why the employees did it.

In another case, Peoples Energy customer Jefferoy Barnes started getting letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes." "I had no bad words at all. I guess the earliest letter is dated in May and from then on up until now my name has been listed as Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes and I have no idea why." Barnes said he received an apologetic call from a company official. He also has contacted an attorney to determine if he can take legal action. A Peoples Energy spokeswoman called the letter inexcusable.


I have not laughed this hard since I saw the Saturday Night Live episode a few years back with Nicolas Cage, where he and Julia Sweeney are selecting names for their soon-to-be-born son. Every time she mentions a name he irrationally shoots it down, offering all the reasons why David or Jack or Bob will invite merciless ridicule from classmates. Just as he is mid-rant, the doorbell rings and Rob Schneider is there saying, "Telegram for Asswipe Johnson!" To which Nicolas Cage yells exasperatedly, "It's Az-wee-pay! Az-wee-pay Johnson!"

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Only in Texas

Sign hanging in a family restaurant in Austin, TX (as best as I can remember the exact wording):

NOTICE
Reminder that it is unlawful to carry concealed weapons in this establishment, by order of blah blah blah...


I have NOW seen everything: a sign reminding you to leave your concealed gun at home when taking your kids to lunch. This is the future for DC that Kay Bailey Hutchison envisions if her proposal in Congress succeeds. Chuck E. Cheese will have to post signs reminding people to not pack heat at their kid's birthday party.

Indicators that the apocalypse is at hand, don't you think?

Your Fantasy CD Mix

The previous post made me wonder: What would be your ultimate fantasy 15-song mix CD? Tell me, tell me, tell me.

Here are mine, in no particular order (and with no apologies, baby!):

By The Rivers of Babylon—Boney M: (reminds me of my childhood in Scotland when it was a Top Ten hit)

Got to Give it Up—Marvin Gaye: (makes me wanna dance like no one is watching)

Ants Marching—Dave Matthews Band: (describes lives of quiet desperation, in an absolutely rockin’way: “they look at each other; wondering what the other is thinking, but they never say a thing...goes to visit his mommy, she feeds him well has concerns he forgets them; and remembers being small, playing under the table and dreaming...”)

Fly Me To the Moon—Frank Sinatra Live At the Sands: (Frank’s 50th birthday, slightly hammered by the booze, but on point, on note, on tempo, on pitch. The man NAILED IT in a way that few performers today can even approach.)

Ain’t That a Kick in the Head—Dean Martin: (fun fun fun till daddy takes my liquor away...).

You Dont Bring Me Flowers—Neil Diamond/Barbra: (the ultimate in cheese. But this song makes you respect the cheese. Neil and Babs do that voodoo that they do so well).

Somewhere Over the Rainbow/Wonderful World—Israel Kamakwiwoole: (from a few movie soundtracks. Youll know it when you hear it. It makes me happy and sad at the same time, which is quite a feat).

Amazing Grace—48th Highlanders: (Americans see bagpipes as having a funereal connotation. Scottish people see bagpipes as one more way to party and get lit in honor of Bonnie Scotland. Amazing Grace CANNOT have meaning unless performed by bagpipes or Judy Collins a capella).

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy—The Andrews Sisters: (I think I am reincarnated from someone during the 40s because I love that whole era: the fashion, the sensibility, the history, the music. I wanna be an Andrews Sister!)

Sloop John B—The Beach Boys: (my dads favorite song by TBBs. I love it because it's plaintive but not a dirge and it makes me concoct a whole backstory in my head about hoisting up the John B sails on this,“the worst trip” he's “ever been on”).

Canned Heat—Jamiroquai: (if you are ever feeling blue, just blast this baby and you will be dancing and singing like crazy. You cannot be depressed while yelling, “I got canned heat in my heels tonight, ba-by!)

Ave Maria—Andrea Bocelli: (Andrea Bocelli: He sings just for me. You did know that, right? All of his albums and shows? Yup—for me. I can hear it in his voice. He sings this song in a way that makes a Jewish non-Catholic feel spiritual. Now THAT is talent!). PS--Sorry about the restraining order, Andrea!

Dixie—From the Gettysburg soundtrack: (the most melancholy version of this tune ever written. If youve seen the movie, you know the meaning, the wistfulness of it on the part of the Confederacy who are dying by the thousands and losing the war). Not that there's anything wrong with preserving The Union...

Into The West—Annie Lennox: (from The Lord of the Rings. More than I want to be an Andrews Sister, I want to be Annie Lennox. Shes Scottish. Shes got soul. She is beautiful. She is aging honestly and gracefully. Her voice is a gift. Her ability to breathe emotion into a song is a gift. This song is the song I would want played at my funeral...not that you need to go buying the CD right now, yo!)

Baby Got Back—Sir Mix-a-Lot: (how else to say it? This song is funny and ribald and a classic. No mix is complete without it. And as a woman who is getting more and more “back” as she ages, I am all about supporting any man who says {everyone, do the karaoke group chant}: “Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!”)

Good times, good times.