I Want Peace and Money

I'm just going to say it. Well, actually, I'm going to steal Chris Rock's words:

CNN: What's it going to be like for you on Inauguration Day?

Rock: It'll be a cool day. It's weird. I've never watched an inauguration. I've never watched anyone get sworn in. You know, it's like Election Day and then you look up and somebody else is the president two months later. It was never like, "I can't wait till tomorrow. Oh my god! They're going to swear in Jimmy Carter!"

CNN: Are you going to watch this one, though?

Rock: I'll put it this way -- like any business is going to be getting done while this guy is getting sworn in. Like I'm going to be in a meeting. Everything is going to stop for however long it takes. Hope they get to it -- hope it's not like I gotta listen to three different versions of "The Star-Spangled Banner" or something. I hope it's not like Rosa Parks' funeral, where everybody f***ing speaks.

CNN: What are you hoping Barack Obama does for this country? What do you think is his most important task?

Rock: You know, if you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money. That's it. I mean, it's like, what did Clinton do? We were at peace and we had a budget surplus. That's it. That's the gig. The closer you get us to those two goals, you know, that's pretty much the gig. Is that too much to ask for?