You, Governor, Are No Teddy Roosevelt

I just received this email:

Who Am I?
I am under 45 years old,
I love the outdoors, I hunt,
I am a Republican reformer,
I have taken on the Republican Party establishment,
I have many children,
I have a spot on the national ticket as vice president with less than two years in the governor's office.

I am Teddy Roosevelt - in 1900

Oh dear. Where to begin to demolish the ludicrousness of this email? As if I even have to try:

Theodore Roosevelt, in addition to being all of the above:

Graduated Phi Beta Kappa and Magna Cum Laude from Harvard
Was president of the American Historical Association
Was Assistant Secretary of the Navy before the age of 40
Organized and commanded the Rough Riders during the Spanish-American War
Authored 35 books
Was a Progressive
*Promoted* conservation and environmentalism
Was the first US President to call for universal health care
Won the Nobel Peace Prize

So, yeah, you could say with accuracy that Sarah Palin and TR have all of those first items in common. But so what? You might as well put in that "both wore glasses," it's all such a meaningless comparison.

If that doesn't convince you, how about this, my attempt at similar comparisons-signifying-nothing:

Q: Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Moses all have what feature in common that ties them to E, the doyenne of Haggisdom?

A: None of them have ever set foot in my kitchen.

Now THAT'S electability, baby!