Javachondria

A short story, but nonetheless instructive:

On Friday, Bambina wasn't feeling well, so I was crazy busy keeping her hydrated, rested and entertained while giving myself whole-body purell rubdowns to avoid catching whatever was knocking her down. I was so busy that I didn't really have time to think about the fact that we had run out of coffee and therefore failed to have my usual 7 cups of joe before noon. {foreshadowing....}

Around 3pm I started feeling kind of blech. Luckily Bambina was interested solely in sitting in bed and watching Dora the Explorer DVDs, so I could just sit with her and wallow in my blechitude. My head was hurting and my neck was aching and I just generally felt like I was in the process of getting wildly ill. I felt somewhat better, did bedtime with her, then immediately ran to my computer to, of course, google my symptoms. (A practice I like to call "poor man's housecall"). In that housecall, I learned that I was suffering the early symptoms of meningitis.

I mentioned my concerns to the BabyDaddy in an attempt to find out if I could credibly call my doctor with my suspicions without triggering a mandatory spinal tap. BBDD kindly took a moment's pause (sadly he now knows better than to doubt my catastrophic health predictions a la "My mouth has been bleeding for an hour and I can't make it stop" or "I Need a Stem Cell Transplant," so he gave me the moment of consideration). Then he very kindly did not laugh out loud as he said, "Your symptoms are also indicative of a caffeine rebound headache. Ring any bells?"

So the moral of the story? There are two: 1.) Pretty much most random malaise-y things you type into google will result in a diagnosis of meningitis. And, 2.) You should really try to not be so addicted to caffeine that missing one day makes you request a lumbar puncture.