Wintry Mix

Bambina is in full-on anticipation of today's coming snowstorm. The snowsuit is already out of the closet. She has already extracted confirmations that yes, indeed, we will go out and make snow angels. She has her kiddie-sized snow shovel ready to go.

Now we just need the snow.

She's at such a great age right now; I'm loving it. She's sweet and loving and gives hugs and kisses for no reason. She says, "Me talk to Mama!" and then proceeds to tell me a story about a ladybug and a butterfly up a tree eating tofu then driving away in a blue van. Then she sings the ABC song perfectly until she gets to her favorite part, "HIJK...LMOPT!" It's awesome seeing her do and say all these really neat things, but as with all things, the upsurge of emotion cuts both ways.

Tempests arise without warning, tears are shed over which socks to wear, screaming and physically resisting are common when it's time to get in the car seat. Dramas--small and large--ensue from being told that chocolate hearts are not eaten for breakfast, that we may not leave the house without clothing, and that some things are, I'm afraid, simply non-negotiable.

It's a rollercoaster of lovelovelovedramadramadramalovelovelovetearstearstears and back to lovelovelove that can wear you out if you aren't careful to simply love it for what it is: your baby is becoming a person independent from you. She still loves you and needs you (and knows it), but doesn't understand why everything on the planet can't truly be all about her. You could say that these are the times that try moms' souls, but I think that offers a short-sighted view of a truly wonderful stage of life (and sets you up for a rude awakening when she turns 15 and the real drama begins).

So we wait for the snow. We bask in watching the unmitigated glee with which only a toddler can view a snowy day. We get the camera in the hopes that we capture some small essence of her joy on film, for her (but more honestly, us) to enjoy when she's older and way too cool to think snow is cool. And we wait for the meltdown when she's told she must wear underpants and socks to get near that snow.

Yeah. It's a wintry mix of feelings to be sure, joyous powdery snow and treacherous icy rain all wrapped up in one powerful and amazing human storm. So we thank God--even during the icy rain--that she's so beautifully learning about and navigating all these new feelings and ways of growing up, that she's becoming her own person.

And we thank God that she's here to teach us all these new feelings as we, too, grow up right along with her.