TBTBNL

Great news, friends! I peed on the dipstick and it turned pink!

Which was quite alarming for the lovely people at the adoption agency because clients generally don't urinate in their board room while turning in paperwork...

I keed. I keed! By "peed on the dipstick" I actually mean that I jumped through the requisite GAZILLION hoops to prove that neither I nor any of my SO's, family, and current or future children are terrorists, HIV carriers, child sexual predators, drug abusers, corporal punishers or Yanni fans. By "it turned pink" I actually mean that the agency accepted the veritable ream of documentation without calling security to remove me from the premises.

So I guess this means that IT'S ON for #2! Or, as we like to call her, The Baby To Be Named Later (TBTBNL).

Which leads me to my next point: Why have we allowed strippers and porn stars to steal some really cute names? Every time I throw out a totally cute name or potential nickname, like Billie (as in Holliday), I am told "Ixnay. That's a stripper name." Same with Jordan, apparently: Stripper. Adriana: Stripper. Simone: Stripper. Is there no end to the names that will henceforth be off-limits to good people like myself who simply wish to raise daughters whose names just happen to be Porscha or Luscious?! For sweet pete's sake! Can't we just agree to seize back the modest and chaste power of the names Sapphire, Cheyenne and Tyffany?!!

I suppose not. Which is why, in order to preserve her dignity, she will be named after any First Lady from 1880 through 1955. I'm pushing for Mamie since I'm sure "Lady Bird" is on the stripper list too.