Tom Hanks?!!!!???

I just read an article about The DaVinci Code movie...starring Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon?!

What?!

Think what you will about the book's scholarship, sacrilege, whatever. But do not tell me that when you were reading it you were picturing Tom Freakin' Hanks as the main character. It's just not possible.

I'm stunned. What happened to, I don't know, Sam Shepard or George Clooney or someone, anyone but Tom Hanks?! I know Langdon is not supposed to be a hottie, but did they have to wake up in the morning with the express purpose of making him so very unsexy in every way? Now I'm supposed to believe that some young woman with a brain is supposed to become enamored of and make sweet, sweet love to...Tom Hanks?!!!

The willful suspension of disbelief required for this movie is not about whether one of Jesus' disciples was a woman. It's about whether Tom Hanks inspires friskiness in anyone, much less a nubile young woman.

Thank you, Ron Howard. You suck.